falling asleep ➫; regulus black

part IV: Pandora (Lovegood)

Pandora, one of my friends during my years at Hogwarts, perhaps one of my only true friends.

While Sirius had his own pose of friends, with the likes of James and Remus. I had my own friends in Slytherin. Though I can't really consider them friends as they were only friends with me because I was a Black and it was more of a means to an end.

Pandora was in Ravenclaw and well we were close friends, not that anyone knew. My parents of course didn't know, neither did Sirius. Pandora always had this thing about her. She is a very talented witch and had such a gift for spells. Besides Sirius, well before he found out about the dark mark. I believe that Pandora was the only other person who thought I was capable of being a good person.

A very fond memory that I have was Christmas time. I was staying at Hogwarts over the winter season as my parents were going off on a holiday trip and I rather not have to stay home alone, since Sirius was spending Christmas with the Potters I thought Hogwarts would be a great choice. For one there will be very few people on the grounds and two, it will be nice to just relax. My friend Pandora was staying at Hogwarts with me, she didn't want me to be alone during the holiday season. We were both in the fifth year at the time.

We were sitting in the library. Pandora was sitting across from me and was talking about something she was reading. To be quite frank I wasn't paying attention, I was trying to just I didn't understand half the stuff she was saying. She was talking about spells or something, I think she was talking about something that she wanted to test or something.

"Reg" Pandora had said that snapped me out of not paying attention, she is the only one besides my brother to call me Reg.

"Yes?" I questioned as I looked at her. She had her long blond hair tied up in a ponytail and she had her wand through the top of the ponytail. She did have some strands of hair on the side of her face.

"Were you even paying attention?" She asked as she closed her book, she looked at me like a stern mother.

"I got lost after you said the words, so I was reading," I responded and gave her a small grin.

Pandora chuckled a bit and shook her head and looked at me saying "Can I be honest with you?" and she messed with the pages of her book a bit.

I looked at her and I was a bit confused. I titled my head and then said "aren't you always honest with me?" Pandora was always honest with me. If I ever did or say anything stupid she would call me out on it. When we first met, I would say something that my parents would say. She would hit me on the back of the head with a book.

"You know you can be anything you want to be right?" Pandora said she said it in a quieter voice than what she was talking in. A more gentle and soft tone. "Even somebody good"

I had told her about my parents and how they were like. I had told her my hopes, my dreams, and my fears. We talked about it all. We have always been very close, ever since we had opened up to each other. I put on this fake facade when I am with my Slytherin friends, but not with Pandora.

I looked at her and for the first time, I didn't know what to say. I was stunned at what she had said and just, I didn't know how to respond. I didn't want to respond so I grabbed my books and got up quickly.

"Reg I didn't mean to offend you or any-"

I cut her off and sharply said "I will see you later" and I quickly walked out of the library. Her words were echoing in my head. 'you know you can be anything you want to be right.' I walked into the Slytherin common room and I went up to my dorm knowing she couldn't follow me. 'Even somebody good.' I flopped on my bed and thought. 'me somebody good.' I just can't picture those words even going together. They don't even sound like they would.

That was the last winter we spent together as friends. The next winter I became a death eater and I pushed Pandora away. I pushed my only friend away. A big regret I have in life and now well in death was I pushed Pandora away,  my only true friend I pushed away.