Forgetting the Apocalypse

11. I'm Not Looking For Pity

Questions irritated and pissed me off. I didn't like or care for them. Especially when I couldn't answer them. It wasn't Riva's fault he was a friendly person. I actually saw myself just maybe becoming friends with him. In fact, he was a lot like Fredi. Only difference besides the age gap was that Fredi knew when I started getting uncomfortable and would stop. Being fairly new to our group, Riva hasn't mastered that yet, and my ever-rising irritation was starting to show in my short responses.

"Listen Riva sweetie, I don't know ok. Can we just leave it at that?" I try keeping my voice calm, but I'm sure that's not how it comes out. I swear I'm having a hard time breathing as if I've been running for miles. My chest feels tight and my hands are getting really clammy.

"How could you not know? I mean you don't have to have one specific favorite movie but you at least could have a top ten or something. But fine, what about your favorite food? That's something you could tell me."

Christ!

I couldn't even answer that either. Things that were so simple!

And he's not making it any easier by the look in his eyes. So I try my best to answer him. Recalling everything I've hunted and eaten since I woke up. Well actually, I didn't hunt this one. "First night that I woke up with Fredi. He found and cooked us an iguana. That's probably my favorite so far, but the pheasants are a close second."

Apparently that answer wasn't good enough or what he was looking for. "No c'mon, it has to be before the apocalypse. Like my favorite has got to be this Korean BBQ that was sold from this food truck alongside Huntington Beach in California. Fredi what's your favorite?"

The oldest gentleman answers with ease. "That's easy, mine is this cocktail I used to make every opening game for football. I'd put shrimp, hiva, some octopus and the basic ingredients. Tomatoes, onions, cilantro and lots of lemon juice. What about you Roone?"

It seemed like a lot to put in one dish yet it seemed so tasty and also very fresh! Like it'll cool you off in the summer. Yet I don't think I would ever know.

He takes a while to answer as he thinks about it. "Mm... It's kind of hard to choose. I've always loved birria tacos, but I go as crazy as Garfield for lasagna too."

Who the heck is Garfield? Was that one of his old friends from back in the world?

"Ok your turn Mara, what's your favorite food?"

Dammit, I would've thought they would've forgotten about me already. Because of my hesitation, all three of them shift their attention to me. Yeah that doesn't help with the anxiety that's starting to rise again. "I don't know ok. Maybe we shouldn't talk anymore, we might end up luring some of those things." At least, that's what I should have said, or thought I did. Turns out my fear of not remembering came back tenfold and in my panic I lashed out. What I really ended up saying, "Stop asking me questions! I don't know anything. Make it stop!"

I didn't even know was I was hitting my sides until I couldn't breathe. I was sure to have bruises on along side my thighs by how much my hands were hurting from hitting the arrows as well.

When my head comes back to reality, I realized my mistake.

Fuck!

That's the last thing I needed to do, raise my voice. Who gives a damn about zombies, I just activated Roone's protective mode over his little brother. As if I needed another reason for that man to not like me. "Hey Tigress, are you ok?"

I'm passed letting it go or pushing it down. If I don't let it out, I think I'm gonna throw up or pass out. I just need to get a hold of my breathing. "No Fredi, I'm not ok." Needed to make sure I don't shout at them again it barely was audible.