Alex at Brecon Beacons

Chapter 6

Alex watched as death said hello to all his friends. Tom was hit by a car, Sabina sniped, Ben poisoned, his unit murdered. Everyone he had ever cared for was gone. All the death he had seen flying through his dreams. Ash shot by Ben, Damian Cray shredded by a turbine, Yassen dying on the floor of the plane, Julius Grief shot by himself, the body of Nile on the ground below him, and Alexei Sarov shooting himself after blaming Alex.

"It's my fault. I killed them all." all the lives he had taken, the look on their faces as she shot a parent, a sibling, someone's child. He had taken their lives simply to save someone he knew. Was it worth it? Absolutely, he didn't know those people but he knew the people that would have suffered otherwise. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I killed you all. I'm sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry." He was borderline hysterical as his whole life flashed in front of his eyes. "No, no, nononononononono. I'm sorry." He was begging and sobbing at the same time. Begging for the world to stop falling, the truths he knew to stay true, apologizing to everyone he had killed as well as the ones he let live. "I'm sorry, it's all my fault."

He was standing on the side of a building's roof now. Everyone behind him, mocking him, cursing him.

"It's your fault. We're dead because of you." his mother said softly, making him accept it as truth.

"You got us killed, Alex. Why would you do that?" His father asked, scorn in his voice.

"I should never have tried to raise you, it would have been better if you had died with your parents." It was Ian's voice now

"I should never have stayed with you, I should've known it would end with me dead." Jack

"Why did I ever try defending you?" Yassen

"What a horrible friend, you got me shot! How could you put me in danger like that?" Tom

"Like I would ever want to be your friend, much less date you. You're worthless and everyone around you only dies." Sabina

"You should leave, before you get us killed." K- unit, "Or have you already killed us all?"

He felt a hand on his back, it was Ben. a moment later he was shoved off the roof. Falling, twisting, turning in the air as he fell. The laughter of the people on the roof, echoing around him.

He sat up and gasped, a yell on his lips but he covered his mouth quickly with his hand. His unit was sitting at the table eating breakfast, an extra bowl sat at the edge, waiting for him whenever he woke up. They didn't look at him weird so he assumed they hadn't realized he was having a nightmare. He sat his head against the wall behind his bed and breathed. It was his fault, he had killed them all and his unit was going to die because of him too. He had to leave, he had to leave if he wanted them to live. He would just put them in danger.

He grabbed his bag and started to put his clothes in it, he grabbed the photos and his phone before putting them in as well. He turned around and found four pairs of eyes on him.

"What do you think you're doing?" Snake asked, putting down his bowl.

"I'm leaving."

"Why?" it was Eagle, he looked genuinely confused.

"You're not safe with me here, I have to leave, you don't want to end up like everyone else."

"Cub, stop. We're perfectly safe here. We're soldiers, we can take care of ourselves." Wolf said, moving to stand in the way of the door.

"So was my father. He's dead and you will be too. Move. It's my fault everyone's dead and I won't get you killed as well. I'm leaving."

"No you're not. It's not your fault. Did you put the bomb on your parents plane?" he shook his head at Fox's question. "Did you shoot your uncle?" another shake of the head. "Did you kill Yassen?" another shake of the head. "Did you kill Jack?" he hesitated in his response and Fox asked again, "did you press the button to kill her." he shook his head again. "Then it's not your fault. So sit down and eat with us. We'll talk after we all eat, you'll feel better." He handed him the last bowl and Alex sat down in the extra chair.