Dirtyhands {Kaz Brekker X Reader}

XIII

Oh a new adventure
These cold wet streets are boring me tonight.
Around each street is a familiar site.
These bland, dark days of ennui and fright.
I need a new view.
I need something bright.
-The Proper English-

-Kaz Brekker-

"Where are we going to find a Heartrender?" Jesper asked.

"The Orchid of course." Inej replied.

"Pekka's already after the one at the Orchid, we shouldn't-" Y/N started.

"And that's why we're going exactly there. It isn't technically his territory." I interrupted.

"Kaz, you already messed with Pekka recently, this isn't sa fe-"

"Nothing's safe here!" I snapped. "We need that Heartrender now." Y/N opened her mouth, but then stopped, stepping down from the argument.

"Inej, you're the least to cause trouble. I need you to bring the Heartrender here as soon as you can." I instructed. She nodded and immediately left the room.

"Jesper, remember that Zemini counterfeit coin that man tried to play with?" I turned towards Jesper.

"Yeah, one of the guards picked it up." Jesper nodded.

"Good, bring it to me." I told him. Jesper tipped his hat and sauntered out, leaving Y/N and I alone in the room. She gave me a look and shook her head.

"This is a bad idea." She muttered. "Pekka's not someone to mess with."

"I'll burn that bridge when I come to it." I gripped my cane. "Besides, even Pekka can't follow us across the Fold. We'll be-"

"Safe?"

"Protected." I corrected her. "At least from him." She nodded and started walking towards the door.

"So... no job for me then?" She asked, turning back.

"Have you finished drawing out those maps of Rollins' house?" I questioned. She sighed.

"Almost." She responded.

"Good." I replied, not knowing what else to say.

"If you need me, I'll be helping Jesper." She informed me before she left closing the door.

The room seemed emptier now. I felt emptier. I had come to rely on her presence so much in these past few months that it felt... different... not being where she was.

She had become so familiar to me. I had memorized every part of her. Her eyes, and how they could shine with happiness, glitter with emotions, and also become rock hard when she was angry. She'd bite her lower lip when she was nervous. Furrow her eyebrows when she was thinking. She'd squint her eyes when she was skeptical. Her laughter was something so pure that it almost didn't seem to belong in this place.

She didn't seem to belong in this place.

She deserved better than what she had to deal with here. She deserved her Cinderella story, to dance all night with a prince that could make her happy. Instead, she depended on a crippled, broken boy that could barely pull himself together for her. I could see her reach out to me in attempts to connect with me, to piece me together.

But I was beyond repair.

She came into our lives in the barrel, shining... no... glowing. Inej talked about the Sun Summoner. How one could harness the searing light of the sun and completely wipe out the dark. Y/N was like that in many ways. But instead of the sun... Y/N was the moon.