Dirtyhands {Kaz Brekker X Reader}

XIV

*I've been a bit busy because I'm moving, sorry for the delay in chapters. Anyways enjoy this long one over 5,000 words!*

It's crazy what you'll do for a friend
-The Neighbourhood-

-Y/N-

"Chrysanthemums." He called out.

I stopped reaching for the door handle. My hand was suspended in the air as my heart was suspended in my chest. "What?" I asked, turning towards him.

"Your favorite flowers... are Chrysanthemums." He repeated. I could do nothing but stand there, mouth agape, wondering how in the world Kaz Brekker knew such a personal detail of me.

"My...my brother." He softly said. "Every time he'd go to Rollins' house, he picked out Chrysanthemums from the local store. He said there was a young girl there that loved them." Kaz turned his head to me. "That girl was you." I looked down at my hands as reality struck me. That's why Kaz looked so familiar when I first saw him.

He was Jordie's brother.

I sniffed, looking back up. "How's he doing in Novyi Zem? Why didn't you go with him?" I asked.

Kaz blinked in confusion. "He's dead."

My breath caught in my throat, and I felt my blood pounding in my ears. "Rollins said he- he moved to Novyi Zem with a girl, started a family, lived a happier life-"

"Rollins lied." Kaz spat.

I looked at him in disbelief, but somehow moved over to sit on the edge of his bed. He took a deep breath and adjusted the grip on his cane.

"Jordie... was my brother." He began. A hundred questions instantly came to my mind, but I shoved them down to listen intently. "I first arrived in Ketterdam with him after our father died in a plowing accident. Jordie wanted to be a successful merchant, so he searched for jobs around the Financial District. He eventually started working for Jakob Hertzoon, a man who claimed to be a small-time merchant. But... he wasn't who we thought he was." Kaz sighed.

"It was Rollins?" I guessed quietly. Kaz nodded, looking off into the distance.

"He tricked us. Led us on a false venture. Jordie was conned out of all our remaining money from the sale of our family's farm. We fell into poverty, barely surviving the streets. I thought things couldn't get any worse. But they did..." Kaz looked back towards me.

"The firepox started to spread everywhere. With no medication and no protection, we contracted it too. We both fell terribly ill... but Jordie died. I remember laying with him, succumbing to the illness myself. We were both presumed dead, and they collected our bodies. They took us to Reaper's Barge near the sea. I tried to tell them I was still alive, but no one listened. We were dumped into the water." Kaz looked away, as if he couldn't bear to hold eye contact.

"How did you reach shore?"

"Using Jordie's body as a float." He replied flatly. I looked down at my hands, as my eyes stung with tears. I couldn't imagine a more traumatic past than Kaz's. And he had to go through it as a child.

"That's why you don't like skin contact...I..." I choked up a little. "I'm so sorry if I ever hurt you. I shouldn't have put that ointment on, I shouldn't have forced you to dance, I shouldn't-"

"It's different with you..." He quietly interrupted. "You feel... warm... and soft... as opposed to what I remember which is all cold... and wet. You make me forget... You almost heal that part of me..." It seemed like those words were difficult for him to say. I wondered just how much far he was stepping out of his comfort zone right now.