tw - suicide, toxic relationships
You were whipped for Hermione Jean Granger, a feeling that would never be reciprocated. Looking from the outside of Hermione's dorm room, you saw the bushy haired figure of your lover tangled limb to limb with Pansy Parkinson. Eyes widening and heart thumping, you bit your lip aggressively as an attempt to keep the tears from spilling out at an uncontrollable pace. Unfortunately, this tactic worked to no avail. Hot and burning tears streamed down your cheeks at a rapid speed with no end in sight.
Second time this week you've caught Pansy and Hermione together; the first time you let it go, but this view was one that shattered your aching heart. You knew they had feelings for each other, but each day you prayed that Hermione wouldn't give in and she'd remember who her actual girlfriend was. Something that couldn't be denied as you watched Hermione pour out her emotions to Pansy with their embrace, is that their kiss was different than yours and Hermione's. The passion between them was blatantly obvious and it tore you, from piece to piece, to see Hermione give her love to someone other than you. Hermione's chest pressed against Pansy's, her fingers fumbling with the buttons of her shirt, lips engaged by Pansy's rosy, soft ones. You blinked away the remains of your tears and turned on your heels, stepping away from the sight. Before you got too far you heard the mumble of words coming from Hermione's raspy voice as the sound of Pansy's belt made an audible clatter on the dorm room floor.
"Pansy, I love you."
You widen your eyes, the lump in your throat nearly choking you to death. She loved Pansy. She told you that she loved you. But the way she said it to Pansy was more genuine, more real, with more feeling than you could ever even imagine her giving to you. It took everything within you to manage to drag yourself back to your dorm without collapsing in the middle of a corridor, crying until the pain stopped.
You gave her every ounce of love in your being; what more could she have wanted? You felt broken, beaten down, used.
Used by the one person who told you that you were her everything, now you were faced with the issue of having to confront her.
"Hermione," you called out, your voice heavily lilted with hidden tears. She was sitting in the courtyard, writing up an essay for Snape's class when she looked up at you with those beautiful chocolate brown eyes; the ones that held no emotion when with you. As your eyes connected, you gulped at the sight of her innocent stare, when you knew what she was doing behind your back. She had her poker face down to a tee. If you hadn't seen her and Pansy together, you would have been completely oblivious; which erupted another quivering question within you. How long had she been seeing Pansy for? You felt even more blindsighted, so much that you nearly forgot where you were. You were brought out of your trance by Hermione's guiltless voice. You looked up at her, the wind whipping her hair in a way that never failed to make tingles jolt through your body.
You tugged at the hem of your shirt, recomposing yourself and your thoughts. "Hermione," you repeated again, this time in a fairly firm tone. "Where were you yesterday? You were supposed to meet me in the library. Like you promised." The last three words were seethed with an underlying burn in your voice.
Hermione laughed tonelessly, "Sorry, must have forgotten. Silly me," she twirled a strand of her hair in between her fingers. You rolled your eyes internally.
"Hermione, can I ask you something?" Your voice laced with a sharp venom, tears brimming upon the surface of your eyes. Hermione seemed distracted to say the least, her eyes wandering everywhere except upon your own. They travelled the whole courtyard before landing on the raven haired Slytherin. You slightly turned your head to see Pansy smiling seductively at Hermione; a deep red blush appearing on your girlfriend's pale cheeks. Bile rose in your throat, you wanted to curl up into a hole and cry until it physically burned you to do so. "Hermione, do you love me?" You cut the crippling silence with your cracking words. The brunette's orbs darted back to you, however she still wasn't meeting your eyes.
