It's always been you

Illusion of the past

Trinkles of raindrops like my tears
Faraway dream that was my past
You're in there with a smile
While in reality you were drenched with blood and in agony

~~~

Sam was in limbo for seems like an eternity. He knows he was asleep but his senses were so active that he can smell the saltiness of the sea and hear the rustling of the wind. He was in a dream which was very different from the usual one he was having since the day he broke the heart of the man he now realizes he couldn't live without. The scene on that pavilion kept on repeating and it bleeds even during the time he was awake. 

There is no escape from the endless surge of longing and pain. He welcomes it as a punishment for trying to lie even to himself. That's the only way to stop himself from driving straight to YU's apartment and pledge to the guy that he will spend the remaining albeit few days of his life atoning for what he did. But this time... this dream he's having right now looks like a new one. Like a part of his memory long buried in his subconscious yet now was leaking back to where it truly belongs.

Sam was helping a blindfolded man which he was pretty sure was YU base on the outline of his chin, eyebrows, and lips. The lean body he was maneuvering from the scooter to the ground feels like him too. He was wearing a blue checkered wool sweater over a plain white shirt and loose white corduroy pants. On the other hand, YU was in a white button-down shirt under a loose honey-colored v-neck sweater matching with tight black skinny jeans. 

YU was giggling as he holds on to his arms for support. "Are you leading me to somewhere you can butcher me up?" He asked in a teasing manner. Sam didn't know how to reply but it seems that he was on autopilot in this dream. "Nah... I prefer to eat you whole than cutting you into pieces." He whispers on the other pink-tinted ears and kisses him on the nape. YU hit him softly like he uses to, which pinch something inside his heart. He had missed this man so much.

"If you brought me in some a kinky dungeon or something, I swear I'll gonna kick your ass." That earned a resounding laugh from the Sam in his dreams. "I don't worry about that. Handcuffing you when we get there would do the job."

Yusuke was about to hit him again when he almost stumble on a rock. Sam immediately steady him. "This is a rocky beach or something. Don't mess with me. I can now smell the sea." 

"Stop guessing. Just focus on your footwork. Because one more stumble and I'll gonna carry you in my arms." Sam taunts as he carefully guides him on the steps of Little Great Wall. The very same place that he had hurt this man in his arms. He was amazed by how the brain can conjure happy illusions over a disastrous one just to delude the brain. Yet Sam, despite not counting himself deserving of a good dream, relishes in this.

At least in this fantasy, he had YU in his arms. A laughing, teasing, and smiling YU. Not the one he had destroyed and hurt with his own hands.

"Don't you fucking dare. I can walk on my own, idiot." The ever feisty person retorted. Sam couldn't help but shake his head. However, just like he predicted the guy stumble again on the way up. So Sam stop both of them and said, "Get on my back, YU. It's getting steeper here. You'll sprain your ankle if we continue like this." YU pouted but didn't fight more. Sam guided him to his back as he sat down and let the man grab on his shoulders as he lifts him up.

"Hold on tight. I don't want to pick you up on the bottom of this path later." Sam jested. He takes YU's arms with one hand and fixes it to where it should be: around his neck. He then bounces him to the correct position as he holds on to his legs and proceeds climbing up to the pavilion at the peak.