To stay or to go...
A diverging road left for me to choose
A place with a promise of a new beginning
But you weren't there
A life without you is nothing but emptiness and longing
So I'll stay... even if my soul rips in half and suffer
~~~
"Ray, of course, you can use the bed." YU's soft voice assured him. "After all, I'll not be using it anymore." The lean man added. Ray frowns and throws the man a questioning glare. "What nonsense are you talking about? You'll gonna buy a new bed? It looks sturdy still." He then bounces himself on YU's bed.
Instead of replying, the man smiles softly at him... but if Ray had analyzed it more, it looks a bit sad. "Can you take care of the red panda for me?" YU asked. Ray who looks comfy lying down just bobs his head. "That rice ball is fatter than you, you know. Instead of feeding it every hour, you should be the one who needs to eat more."
"Can you?" The guy answers him with another question, so Ray couldn't help but agreed. Even when they were still children, he never once could say no to this guy even once. Maybe because he had a secret crush on him for the longest time.
But because he knows that YU only sees him as a friend and nothing more... Ray loves him enough not to force him to accept a love that couldn't be reciprocated at all. It's better to let him spread his wings till he met the man he is destined for.
However, a scumbag has made his best friend fall for him. Showers him with love and attention that only lasted for a fucking 4 years and leaves him with nothing but tears and pain.
There are too many times he wanted to hunt that bastard and maybe teach him a lesson or two, but the thought that YU would feel hurt when he knows what he has done... that is always what stopping Ray from putting action to his thoughts.
"Are you coming back?" Ray didn't know why he asked that dumb question. Of course, Yu Teng would come back. This is his house and this rice ball here is something he adores. YU looks back at him while his right hand was resting on the doorknob. That look Ray received was something that haunts him even if decades have passed.
It was the look of peace laced with finality. He should have left that damn bed and pull YU away from the door. He should have followed him that night to make sure he is safe. He should have never let him go in the first place. He should have... he should have...
Ray's biggest regret in his life is not refusing to admit his feelings to Yu Teng. It is the fact that he had failed to save his friend. He had failed to see the death note written in the depths of his deep dark eyes. The poison of tragic heartbreak that was eating him for one year in silence. And the hidden cries of agony beneath his peaceful last smile for him.
He attributed to his death as much Lin Zi Hong does and because of that Ray wouldn't be able to see Yu Teng smile softly ever again... until today.
White light welcomes him as he opens his eyes. His body felt like he fought a dozen of goons and end up battered and bruised. Ray, you are not in your twenties anymore. His husband's words whenever he tries to do things he usually does back in the days pop up in his mind.
What happened? He remembers extreme pain from his chest. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't move. Why is that?
YOU ARE READING
It's always been you
Fanfiction"Loving you was the greatest mistake I've committed in my entire existence." "If I'll be reborn, let's never meet again." "I chose death because that's the only way I can unlove you." - Yang Yu Teng "Loving you was my lone saving grace in my short b...
