Epilogue

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Looking up the gray sky above
Gloomy cold wind brought shivers on the spine
Sadness threatens to engulf thy shine
Raindrops showers down the grove
 
Eyes brimming with unshed tears
I reach up and touch the moist trail of fears
Tainting the pure soul within
Unbeknownst the pain and sorrow herein

Darkness consumes my remaining light
I cower behind, shivering in the cold
Yet when Almighty extended a hand
I reach up and decided to fight

How painful dissolution brings
Full of sorrow and heartbreak springs
Harden your heart and never break
For the darkness will be driven away at daybreak



~~~

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To my heartbeat,

Blissful. Free. Happy. If someone would ask me to summarize in three words my feelings after one year of marriage to you... those are them. Blissful because you make all the hard days easier and bearable. Nights and nights of painful headaches are gone because of your soothing words, loving caress, and warm presence. Life will never be easy, but with you... I can do anything. 

You are my strength, Sam. You make all my weaknesses easier to overcome because you are just right here to carry the burdens with me. Thank you and I love you. I will never ever get tired of repeating those words... because you deserve it and I deserve you.

Freedom was a right given to people when they were born... but who is completely free? Is freedom absolute? I've realized not. I wasn't free because my sickness is pulling me back... yet I also realized that freedom just like our opinions... differs depending on the circumstances we are in. I'm seeing a shackle that is because I chose to... but if I see this disease in a positive light and think how lucky I am to have an understanding husband who is willing to put up with me... to remember with me... to guide me... those shackles start to disappear and was replaced with an open door of freedom. And you are right behind that door waiting for me.

You freed me, my heartbeat. From fears, from doubts... from insecurities. You show me the new meaning of freedom and I embrace it, own it, and take it. As I should.

And lastly, the smiles blooming on my lips every time you are with me, every time our son asked us to tell him a bed night story, every time our whole gang of old friends reminisces the beautiful parts of the past... I know I am happy. More than I could ever possibly imagine. There were always days of melancholy but after those days... I know I will bounce back with laughter, smiles, and glee... because I have whatever it takes to be. 

As the sun goes up every day, and your face is what's welcoming me to the world... I don't think there is anything more I could wish for. And when the sun descended down from the sky, and darkness sets in, not sadness dominates... for a promise of a new beginning in your arms as you are the last person I see before I close my eyes... night has become a solace as much as daybreak is.

Happy one year of marriage, my heartbeat. I promise I will be counting till our last breathe.

Eternally yours,

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