Plot Twist

1. the sunshine on a rainy day

On Sundays, I usually do everything I don't have time to do on every other day of the week.

On this particular Sunday morning, I found myself busy folding clothes that had come out of the dryer. Mostly pink and purple pyjamas, some overalls, school's uniforms, jeans, and a load of colourful sweaters that were piling up on the corner of the dresser's drawer.

In the background, I could hear the sweetest little voice, mimicking, almost in a whisper, the words that the dolls would say to each other if they were real.

I looked up at the picture frame that hung on the yellow wall, standing above the dresser.

Framed it was a picture of my daughter - who all of these small clothes belonged to. My teeny tiny daughter. It was taken right after she got cleaned up and given to me by the midwives that helped me deliver her.

She was laying peacefully on my chest, my arms wrapped around her, not too tightly but not too loosely. She was so small and looked so fragile, I remember feeling scared that I would break her. Her blonde hair was covered with the cutest pink, tiny hat that said midwives had put on her head. Her body was securely wrapped with a warm blanket, but, as I remembered and as I could see on the picture, her tiny hands were trying to escape the engulfment of the cover.

Just below the picture, it read her full name - Lexi Marie Thompson - and below that line, it was the time and date of birth - 4th May 2013. 05:12 AM.

That was the exact date and time of the happiest moment of my entire life.

To this day, I still remember that moment so clearly and I don't think I'll ever forget it.

And just like that, on a regular Sunday morning while folding laundry, I was brought back to memory lane.

May 3rd was a typical London day. Cold, windy and rainy. But, believe it or not, on May 4th, by morning twilight, the dark clouds were gone. As the minutes went by, the blue sky turned into a lighter shade of that colour, and the sun - despite not being the warmest - was shining brightly and lighting up every corner of the city. (And every corner of my heart. To be fair, I don't think my heart's ever seen this much light, ever.) The rain, at that time, was long gone, its' only remains being the puddles that were spotted here and there on the side of the busy roads.

Love is such a vague, yet interesting feeling when you think about it. In a much easier way, we can think of love as a spectrum. It can be so intoxicating, it turns out to be toxic. So toxic that instead of care and affection, you get hurt. But it can also be so pure, so real and raw it turns out to be the best feeling in the world. Two ends of a spectrum - one that it's so bad and one that it's so good. I hate that I had to try the worst before I got to experience the best, but that was what got me here and what got me my amazing daughter, and I wouldn't change it for the world.

Nothing else will compare to that moment, I know that for sure. The minute I met my daughter, was the moment it all clicked for me. It was when I learned what true love meant. Meeting your own child for the very first time, that overwhelming feeling of pure joy? Unmatched.

But before this, I was on the other side of the spectrum. I was a wreck, scared to death. Not only about being a single mom, but also about what I did in order to actually become one, and protect me and my daughter. However, no one knows about that last part. Only I do, and I have every intention to stay that way.

I'd always dreamed of being a mom, I'd wanted to be a mom. I just never thought it would be under these circumstances. At twenty-one years old, unemployed, and a single mother.

That sounded exactly like the recipe for disaster my own mother had warned me about when I first told her about my pregnancy. But I would be damned if I would let her be right. I was going to do this, I was going to be a mother, better than she ever was for me or my brother. I was going to give my baby the best life that I could give her and hope for the best.