years after years, later
ive come to a realisation,
of a split between a soul; once together.
i look at her,
through the windows of my inward eye.
she was not someone distinct,
but someone who once used to be me.
my present who with time became the past.
went past all miseries with a smile;
but look at me.
there's hardly a day when i voluntarily smile.
i am not the person
who i was
seconds, minutes or years ago.
with each tilt of the seconds hand,
im reborn with new flaws and fears.
but with every night to day transition,
she was reborn with a new spirit of hope.
the agony of losing her brought,
a scarcity of emotions in me like a drought.
her mute cries dried up my heart throughout
this loss was engraved deep in me out of doubt
for one thought of her triggers and screams
"you're too weak it seems."
though she actually seemed to be,
a midsummer night's dream.
loaded with sunshine,
like a bright and fresh dawn.
she flaunted all her flaws,
in her state she learned to love herself.
unlike me who hardly finds
a talent in me to love wholly.
i can never try
to put myself into acting like her.
she was like a reflection
visible in the rainwater
when the sunshine mixed with them,
to create a rainbow; colourful like her personality.
in comparison to her,
im just her shadow
that stands out
when the light screams at it
to return back to its place; the dark.
shadow mixes with darkness easily.
just like my tears,
that mix with the water during shower.
we are each other's reflection.
we are each other's shadow.
so why a disconnect between us?
or were we ever 'us' ?
she was light: my past
but turned to darkness: my present.
the light around her began to torment,
began to accuse her for being darkness.
sunshine that she was
no longer wanted company.
and that was how the day turned to night.
she never realised until it was already late
she forgot to smile and gave it up to darkness
darkness whom she used to hate,
showed her a path when she was facing hate.
maybe now i know
who she was.
but i still am not aware,
of who i am.
