caged ➳ calum hood

// Part 2 //

(Ava's POV)

University, university, university - it's all I ever hear about these days. It seems to be all anyone cares about. Which univerities are good, which universities aren't, what my ideal university is. The truth is, I don't know the answer anymore. To anything. I don't know which university I want to go to, I don't know where I want to be. Well I guess that's a lie - I want to be at home. Not my house, that isn't my home. Home is with Calum - and Ashton, Luke, Michael and of course Rose. I don't want to be left all alone. The boys have already ditched me for Australia, and it's only a matter of time before Rose does the same thing. I know that's what she wants, what she needs. It's obvious to anyone who pays attention that she pretty much depends on Ashton. To be honest, he depends on her too, but it's clearly for different reasons. Knowing he's so far away must be hard on her, I mean I miss Calum and he wasn't even my boyfriend. Not even close. But I know that Rose is thinking about leaving to be with him. I see it in her eyes everytime he hangs up the phone, it's killing her. I'm probably the only thing holding her back - pathetic little Ava and her "drinking problem". She'd never say it to my face, Rose isn't that kind of girl, but I know that's what she thinks of me. I can tell that it hurts her every time she sees me when I come back from a party and she's scared that if she leaves I'll get in serious trouble. But I'll be fine, I always am - I have to be.

A gentle knock on my bedroom door distracts me from my thoughts.

"Who is it?" I croak, placing my hand on the spot my newfound headache is taking place.

"It's me, can I come in?" Rose whispers, entering the room anyway which causes me to give her a pointed look. I would laugh at her but I'm afraid that my head will burst if I do, so I just smile slightly, though I'm sure it comes across as more of a grimace.

"Hi." I say in a voice that is barely audible.

"Have a good time last night?" she smiles, though I can tell she's worried about me. I'm not surprised though, she's never really liked it when I go out to clubs and parties and recently I've been going a lot more often. I wish I could explain to her why I'm 'doing this to myself' but I'm not sure I could find the right words, so I just keep quiet about it when asked.

"It was pretty good actually, so good that I can't even remember." I laugh before wincing and regretting the decision to do so. Rose just frowns.

"I bumped into your little friend on the way up." she says, "you're lucky your mum didn't catch him this time."

"What friend? I don't even know who you're talking about..." I trail off and then look at the spot on the bed next to me, remembering snippets of the activities that took place before. I shudder, I prefer the nights where I completely forget what's happened, like I've developed a case of amnesia or something.

"Ava this behaviour is starting to worry me, what's going on with you, why are you doing this to yourself?" Ooomph, there it is. The classic question for someone who likes to party - that's all it is, partying, I don't get the problem.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I snap, getting defensive, causing Rose to frown sadly.I hate upsetting her, but I also hate it when she sticks her nose in my business. So I like to have a good time, what's the issue?

"I just don't want you to get yourself into any trouble, Ava...I hate worrying about you." she says, but this time she sounds more upset - fuck, that's my fault.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean for it to get out of hand last night, I got carried away." I smile sheepishly, ignoring the fact that she isn't just talking about last night.

She cheers up a bit after that, scurrying off to get me some aspirin and a glass of water, which she sets down on my bedside table

"Thank you." I say, which she waves off as if it's nothing. But it is something. Rose always takes care of me, even when I don't ask her too, when I think I don't need her too. But I do need her. I know she needs me too, or at least she used to. Before she met Ashton she relied on me a lot, mentally. I helped her when she was sad, just like she helps me when I'm sick. Now Ash helps her with her troubles and I feel useless.