my first and last | t. kuroo, h. iwaizumi

meet bojangles, my sleep paralysis demon

eight years later.

jingle jangle, i heard as i began to stir from my REM sleep cycle. the bell on the collar of my boyfriend, lev haiba, sounded as he approached my near-lifeless body. at first, i thought the sounds came from my dreams. but the longer it went on, the more i realized it wasn't a trick of my unconscious mind. i groaned as the jingling grew louder and louder like bojangles the clown.

he was coming.

fight-or-flight kicked in, my eyes jolting wide open. i grabbed the nearest object–a cup full of scalding hot leaf water, just placed there by my loving boyfriend–and yote it at him. the water burned him instantly as he fell to the ground screaming in agony.

i had killed my boyfriend.

i grabbed my phone, hoping to document the events on twitter. as i crouched next to lev's screaming form, i posed with my trademark peace sign. my finger hovered over the button as i thought better of this course of actions–of course, this would be incriminating evidence if the cops found it. but how cool would that be? the cops following me on twitter?

i turned to my boyfriend, finally quiet. i decided that it was too late in my "professional" medical opinion. it would be better to dispose of the body now rather than later. 'but how was i going to explain this to the agency?' i wondered uselessly.

i dialed iwaizumi's number, pacing my apartment as i waited for him to answer. one ring, two rings, three rings, (seven rings by ariana grande plays faintly in the background)...voicemail. 'damn,' i thought. i groaned and tried again seventeen more times until he answered.

"iwa-chan! do you still have those shovels from when we dug up the time capsule?"

"yeah, why?" he asked, but there was no true questioning to his tone.

we had been so smitten with each other after that first encounter–the dirty dress shop floor, his strong arms wrapped around my waist, my hands fumbling across his broad chest. that summer led to a whirlwind of romance and hot sexy times that i never wanted to end. but when the time for graduation came, we had to part as different interests led to different career paths.

we made a pact first, however: we would only contact each other once a week–and only for emergencies. his emergency last week was the need to dig up a time capsule that oikawa had buried on the seijoh school grounds with incriminating evidence of him at the christmas party.

it was time for me to cash in.

"meet me at the cemetery in fifteen."

"okay."

* * * * * * * * * * *

i woke with a start. one leg hanging off the couch, i was tangled in my blanket. blurry-eyed and foggy-minded, i stumbled through my apartment into my bedroom. i grabbed my comforter and rolled myself into it like a burrito made by an apathetic fast-food worker. i shut my eyes and began to doze off again.

most days, i could sleep like a rock. other days, the nerves and anxiety kept me up into the early hours of the morning until exhaustion finally knocked me out. the worries bubbled and boiled and toiled and when they overflowed from the dark depths of my inner cauldron–that's when i fell asleep.

that's what happened last night.

it wasn't long until my boyfriend came in, pushing open the blackout curtains. i screeched like a pterodactyl and hissed immediately after at him.

"let me sleep, leEeEeeEEEv," i moaned passionately. (i was very passionate about my sleep. it's a thing. i know because of "medical experience.")

"it's almost seven. don't you have to be at work soon?" he walked over to my bedside, kneeling next to the bed.

"holy skaAAAaRT, cooking aubergine!!" i cursed creatively, falling out of bed.

i ran into the bathroom, nearly colliding with the door as my hands clumsily struggled to open it. i furiously brushed my teeth, yelling about germs as the toothpaste foamed out of my mouth. i continued for the full, recommended two (2) minutes like i had a dentist appointment rather than a new job.

i growled like a feral dog, continuing my morning routine. i washed my face and applied liquid eyeliner in the sharpest cat eye as though it were a weapon to kill a man. tossing together an outfit of bright colors, i gave myself a once-over in the mirror when the look was complete.

i looked like a clown. and not even a good-looking, respectable clown.

lev laughed behind me as i walked toward the kitchen. every time i thought he had finally gotten it all out of his system, he started up again at the mere sight of me.

but it was too late to turn back (metaphorically. i was, after all, still in my apartment). i was going to start my first day at my new job.

...maybe no one would notice?