Fallen Queen

~ C H A P T E R T W E N T Y - O N E ~

Stubborn and determined are negative and positive ways to describe the same thing. Right now, it wouldn't be wrong to say that my heart argues with my heart every fucking time it wants to beat. Magic happens when you don't give up even when you want to- that is probably why the universe falls in love with stubborn hearts.

I drive with a single hand as I press another hand to my forehead, to pause the bleeding temporarily- not the best idea, but that'll have to do. Checking out the nearest hospitals with Siri, I speed away to CareMark, albeit one of the most expensive hospitals around- but fuck money, I need to be alive and well, first of all.

The blood has seeped into the sleeves of my t-shirt, I'm relieved momentarily because my shirt isn't outrageously white to flash the red, although blood has the richest shade of red- one I'd not get tired of staring at. Very satisfying, albeit weirdly sadistic.

I'm aware of people looking at me as I try to blend with the pace of the highways, with blood streaming down the left side of my face and smashed front glass in a sleek Porsche Panamera. Absolutely not the best state when you want to be left alone, undisturbed and ignored.

I park so fast, it's almost ungodly. Dashing out of the car, I walk into the hospital, the familiar smell enveloping me. One of the receptionists immediately helps me, placing a hand at my waist and hushing me into one of the elevators before using a wireless earbud to communicate over what seems to be the emergency handling departments. I can no longer keep a track of what's happening- the unconsciousness is rapidly taking over my head as I try to see straight. With one step backwards I crumple like a puppet suddenly released from their strings. It felt like my innards were being replaced by some kind of black hole. Then nausea crept from my abdomen to his head and the world went black.

The car rams into the back of my car. The noise is a sort of fabric that weaves into the matter of this place, into my matter too, they get into my soul and become part of me.

Victory, I hear my inner vixen whispering.

Yet, I wait for the moment to pass, it doesn't- as if it's happening on loop now, pushing to notice everything minutely as it happens so slowly that it is actually unlikely to be happening. I see the glass splintering into a thousand little shards, each minute and slow- I'm almost afraid they'll slash my skin- but as usual, they don't. I feel the ramming into my skull over a long span of time as compared to when it actually happened- yet my reaction doesn't change. It's as if I'm sitting in the passenger seat of my car, watching it happen over and over again.

I watch the black, prim car pass me by as it speeds down, but this time, much slower.

Then it clicks.

I've seen the car before. And judging by the brand and model- it was a limited edition piece- one only the richest of rich could afford, and the coincidence is very unlikely.

I'm very sure I've seen the car somewhere else.

I just can't remember when.

I hold my head in my hands, pressing my head with my hands in exasperation over trying to remember where I'd seen it. My eyes hurt as the same scene repeats in my head, hammering over and over again. That is when the blood takes over, my eyes zooming in over the blood gushing out of my forehead, darkening as it comes closer than ever. It becomes a void of blankness and blackness as I feel slammed back into my own headspace, a myriad of colors and patterns running in my mind as usual.

I open my eyes with a jerk.

The fuck.

The nurse rushes over to me with a glass of water and asks me to lay down once I've drunk the water. I lean against the wall as I ignore her repeated exasperated requests to lay down. I notice the units of blood attached to my wrist and then touch my forehead with the other hand. Bandages.