Marauder's Era: Remus Lupin x reader

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"That's exactly why we should break up, (Y/n)!" I stood up from the window, setting my book down on the cushions and staring at him with a sick smile. 

"I agree." I linked my hands behind my back. "You're a monster, Remus." He stared at me, having expected me to disagree with him, comfort him in some way, but I had my own way of things. "A monster forced to attack anything that moves on a full moon!" I snapped, laughing slightly. "Something deemed so dangerous, Dumbledore built a shack in Hogsmede so everyone would be safe from you!" I could feel my chest heaving as I shouted in the middle of the common room. "You could have killed them! Your best friends!" I could see the hurt in his eyes, the emotional and psychological toll this was taking on him right here. 

"(Y/n), I think that's enough-" Sirius tried to stop me from speaking from his place on the sofa. 

"No! He needs to hear this! You know you're dangerous! You know you can kill people!" I sucked in a deep breath. "We all know that!" My expression hardened. "And you know what, Remus?" He stared at me, clearly mentally ruined by this already. "None of us cared about that!" I motioned to his three closest friends. "They take care of you, every month!" I felt my eyes begin to sting. "I stayed with you every night! Do you know how many times you've tried to kill me?! How many times you've scratched me?!" This all seemed liked news to him. Had the others never told him? His eyes widened in horror. 

"You stayed with me?! After all of that? After I tried to kill you?!" He raised his voice, but I refused to flinch even slightly at the tone ini his voice, the anger and frustration. 

"Remus! I have had your jaws at my throat, I do not give a single fuck if you scream at me!"

"I tried to KILL you! What the fuck possessed you to stay with me?!" I clenched my jaw and glared at him. 

"Because I feel safe with you!" That came as a surprise to everyone, those words...coming from me...about a boyfriend who had tried to kill me... "Because I know everything will be okay! Because I know that you love me and will help me as much as I would with you!" My anger had slipped into something pleading. "But, clearly I was wrong." I had finally stopped yelling, sighing. "That's why I chose to agree with you, because even after everything I've sacrificed..." I sniffled, feeling tears drip down my cheeks. "You clearly don't want to be with me." Everyone was quiet. 

"After all of that, everything...you feel safe with me?" I nodded, staring at the carpet as I heard some shifting, realising someone was coming downstairs. It was James, he'd joined Sirius on the sofa with Lily. "Why...?" I shrugged. 

"Because I grew up with you..." I met his eyes. "You're all I know, you're what feels safe to me."

"You knew...for so many years..." I nodded. "How old were we?" His voice broke as he whispered, surprised by this revelation. I smiled sadly, tears still streaking down my cheeks. 

"That night...I lived next door to you, Remus." He stared at me, his jaw agape as I cried where I stood, frustrated. "You think I wouldn't hear you screaming? Or look out my window and see something sprinting from your house on all fours?" I stared at him as I noticed Peter joined everyone on the sofa. "I notice things, Rem. I notice how you get paler, moodier, quieter. You lash out at everyone!"

"(N/n)-"

"No." I shook my head, pulling my sleeve to wipe my cheeks and eyes, although it pulled the cotton of my sweater from my shoulder, which is when  I heard someone get repeatedly hit by a book. I glanced over to the sofa and saw Lily doing it to James before nodding over to me. "You can't act like you care after breaking up with me-" I noticed Remus' eyes were wide and fixated on something. I briefly glanced  in the direction, and looking back to him before freezing, realising what he was looking at. 

"What's that?" His eyes never moved from my shoulder, and my eyes never left him, having already widened in mild fears. 

"What's what?"

"Don't play fucking dumb, (Y/n). I've known you eighteen years, and I know that was never there." He took a step towards me, and I took one back, my eyes never leaving his. His voice was dangerously low. "What is it?"

"Nothing." I spoke immediately, my suspicions now confirmed, he was staring at the scarring on my shoulder. 

"Why'd you step away then?"

"Because you're scaring me."

"Just tell name what it is!"

"No! It's none of your business!"

"Which means it was me! It always does!" Whenever I waist. foul mood, if it was Remus' fault, I'd always tell him to 'go away' or that it was 'none of his business'...and he knew that. "It's always my fault when you say that!" He took another step, and so did I. "So come on! What'd I do this time!?"

"You really want to know?!" He nodded, frustrated. "Really? You really do?!" He nodded again with a sigh.

"That's why I'm asking!"

"Look in the mirror, Moony! Look at them and tell me at least one doesn't look like mine!" I saw his breath get caught in his throat. 

"(Y/n)...tell me it's not the one I'm thinking of right now." I stared at him, angry, my chest heaving. 

"Which one are you thinking of-?" His chest was heaving, on the verge of a panic attack. 

"Lower right calf." I couldn't do anything. I froze where I stood, staring at him. I opened my mouth to say something but fell short a few words, choosing to just bite my tongue and cheek. I sighed. "Which one was it?" II knew exactly what he was asking, was it him or Fenrir Greyback. I hugged my arms to my torso, looking down to the ground once more. "Shit." I could hear Remus' voice go quieter as his stance faltered. I immediately looked up, lowering my arms as II kept an eye on him. I took a hesitant step towards him as his breathing grew faster. 

"Remus..." I spoke quietly, quickly grabbing his arms when he stumbled. His hands wrapped my forearms. "Sirius!" I called out, my voice straining as I tired to keep Remus up. His eyes met mine, and a soft smile crossed my lips. Sirius was quick to get up from his seat and round to us. "You'll be okay, okay?" He nodded, hesitantly. I remember the last time these happened...he'd gotten a letter from his dad telling him about the passing of his mother....Hope had been ill for a while, and it had finally reached the end...Remus had spent the night in the girls dorm with me, curled up with me as he cried, having repetitive panic attacks. I shared a pained look with Lily, who was also aware of that night, as we sat Remus on the sofa. He had leaned forwards with his arms on his knees, staring down at the fireplace, until I quickly knelt in his line of sight. "You want to know something?" He, almost unnoticeably, nodded. "I trust you, more than anyone." His breathing was yet to calm down. "Remus," his eyes stared into mine and I smiled softly, settling my hands on his. "You mean everything to me, you're all I've ever known...It's one of the reasons I love you...You've always been nearby." I let out a breathy laugh. "Do you want to know something else?" he nodded again, trying to calm his breathing. "Did you know werewolves mate for life?" Everyone stared at me as I smiled, with a sad laugh, wiping my tears, It always hurt to see him like this. "You're stuck with me, Rem. And I'm stuck with you-" his hands grabbed my face and our lips met. It took three or so seconds for him to relax, adjusting himself so he could kiss me properly. 

"I love you..." Remus rest his head against mine. "And I'm so fucking sorry." I laughed as he pressed a kiss to my lips once more, our friends astounded by what had just happened. 

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