Euphoria

Chapter 6- Viper's POV

Viper's POV 

Authors Note- This chapter is pretty long and has some triggering topics.

I was making chicken pasta with white wine, one of my comfort foods. It was honestly hard to make myself eat, but I know Canary would want me to eat, so I'm trying my best.

After I finished making my food I sat down to watch Supernatural with Pablo and Moth and texted Canary. "Why are you laughing, huh?" Pablo asked. I just shook my head and continued messaging Canary. Canary and I spoke about tons of stuff, literally whatever was on our minds. It was nice having somebody I could relate to. I hoped Canary felt the same way as me, to be honest, I know it's only been a few days but he's super important to me and I'm already attached to him. I know it's early to be attached to someone like this but, this always happens. I'll have one conversation with somebody and then never want them to leave because I'm already hella attached. 

I got up to go wash the dishes, which I honestly despised doing. I never started washing the dishes until I moved out since my arms are covered in scars and I couldn't wear short sleeves around my family, which meant I couldn't really do dishes. My family never understood that, they just thought I was lazy and ungrateful, but they didn't understand mental illness. The only person in my family who did was Moth. It's a good thing I'm close with one person from that fucking hell hole.

I'm so glad Canary and I share similar mental illnesses and can understand each other. We're basically those memes of the "Bipolar & BPD Best Friends" I genuinely hope one day Canary and I can meet. I know we just met, and I know I keep saying it over and over again but he's so special to me, I've never related to somebody like this before, I've never had a connection like this. I hopped off my bed and over to my vanity and decided to do my makeup. I'm not going anywhere, but I just wanted some pictures to post. A couple of minutes later I received a text from Pablo, asking if I wanted to go to a party. I said sure, because why not. I know I went to a party a few days ago but I never really go out, I was already doing my makeup anyway.

~Time Skip~

AUTHORS NOTE: THIS SCENE INCLUDES R*PE AND BENZO USE. IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO READ, PLEASE SKIP AHEAD TO THE NEXT TIME BOLDED SENTENCE, THANK YOU. PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK.

I'm honestly so fucked up right now. I was on Xanax and I was drinking, I was a year clean from xans too, but I just went through a traumatic ass breakup a while ago and needed some kind of way to cope besides hurting myself. I honestly felt a little dizzy and wanted to sit down, I walked upstairs to an empty room and laid down. I heard a knock and sat up, and I see my ex-boyfriend from 5 years ago, the one who raped me and took my virginity.

"What do you want?" I said drowsily 

"Just wanted to check on you, don't be so rude Vipes." He looked over to the door and I see my old best friend Max and his girlfriend Stella come into the room. I was too out of it to do anything so I just laid down and closed my eyes.

The next thing I know, I'm waking up with Xavier on top of me and I see Max with her phone out, it looked like she was recording. "How long was I passed out???" I thought I was so confused about what was going on, everything was blurry but I felt pain in areas I shouldn't be feeling pain.

"Shit, she's waking up!" Stella yells while misgendering me.

"What the fuck are you doing Xavier" I scream when I finally realize what was happening, I push him off of me, pull my pants up and wait for a response

"I just wanted some fun, don't be such a fucking prude!" Xavier screamed back

"And what the fuck are they doing here then??? Was she fucking recording you raping me? What's that good for?" I was beyond angry, I don't understand how the fuck he thought this was okay. I kicked Xavier in the balls and left the room angrily going to find Pablo. My mascara and eyeliner running down my face and my vision was blurry from crying.

"Hey, hey babes what's wrong?" Pablo asked giving me a hug "You're shaking..."

"C-can we please go home, I'll explain in the car I just want to get the fuck out of here" I cried. Pablo and I left and I explained what happened.

"What the fuck? He did fucking what!? I swear to god I'm gonna fucking kill them." He said

"No Pablo please, you're on probation, I don't want you in trouble," I replied

"Then go to the police, they literally filmed him fucking raping you, they'll be in so much fucking trouble." He pulled into our driveway and helped me out of the car, he sat me down on the couch and put on Adventure Time. "I'm gonna run you a bath" He says calmly.

Once he calls me upstairs I go into the bathroom and undress, I take a look into the mirror and see bruises on my shoulders, legs, and waist. I shiver out of disgust and sit in the bath and look at my phone.

AUTHORS NOTE: OKAY YOU CAN SKIP TO HERE

"Hey Vipes, I wanted to make sure you were okay, you've been gone for hours." It was a text from Canary

DM's

Viper: Hey, thanks for checking on me. Um honestly, a lot fucking happened tonight... It's kind of a blur... Can I call??

For the next 4 and a half hours, I was on the phone with Canary explaining to him what happened and him comforting me and helping me forget about it. I fell asleep with my towel still wrapped around me and Canary still on the phone, I felt at peace for once, it was really nice to talk to somebody who won't throw me into a psych ward.

I wake up and check my phone and see a message from Canary

"I really enjoy talking to you V, I hope you feel the same, rest well babes <3" I smiled after reading it. I actually have somebody in my life I can rely on and talk about whatever. Like, of course, I have Pablo and Moth, but this just seems different, ya know? It's a different type of connection that I feel will never break. Like, Moth and I are siblings, so of course, we have a connection that won't break and Pablo and I grew up together so that won't break. but this is way different. Canary seems like a person who will be there for me forever, I honestly don't think we're ever going to argue, we get along too well.

~Time Skip~

It was only 4 PM and I was fucking exhausted, I really wanted to take a nap but I needed to go look for a job, I decided I need something to distract myself with every day rather than playing video games for money if I find another job I enjoyed then why not, right?  I was just hoping I could actually fucking handle it. Working is extremely hard for me with my BPD and my Autism n such. But, I try my best. I'm glad my last boss was so accommodating to my mental illnesses. I'm hoping whatever boss I have with a new job will be. I sat at my computer and started searching for work. Huh, another dispensary job? Honestly, why not. I'll apply anywhere that I'm comfy with.

3 hours go by and I've applied to multiple places including, Hot Topic, 3 different dispensaries, American Eagle, Walmart, a hair salon, and a farm. I never thought I'd work at a farm but I've always loved animals, so who knows, milking cows could be fun. After I'm done I decide to lay in bed with my laptop and watch Shadowhunters whilst texting Canary. Talking to him has just become an everyday thing, all my friends and family know about him and they always joke around and say we're like a couple. But honestly who knows, maybe one day we will be. I'm not quite sure how I feel yet. I'm super attached but do I like him or is it just an FP BPD kind of thing... It's so fucking hard to tell. I can never differ platonic from romantic and it bothers me so much. But I can't really help my mental illness, I just have to deal with it. 

AUTHOR'S NOTE- For those who don't understand what an FP is, scroll down and click the "External Link" I attached, right before you click to the next chapter! I will speak a lot about having an FP in this story since it is something I struggle deeply with so if you wanna understand more about what it is then take a look at that <3 Thank you!! ~Viper

~Time Skip~

I was scrolling Tik Tok in bed when I heard a ding on my laptop, I rushed over and saw that the manager of Hot Topic emailed me back and wants to interview me. I was super fucking excited since I've been shopping there since I was a kid and I could use the discount if I'm honest. I emailed them back and we scheduled an interview for tomorrow at 10 AM. I was super excited and needed to text Canary about it.