Reciprocal Altruism || Snowbarry College AU

Practice Makes Bestest VII

Replaying the conversation over and over in her head, Caitlin still couldn't piece together anything. Words began jumbling together and suddenly words like "fignificant fother" and "bestest" were part of her vocabulary. Suddenly, Barry was a part of her life in a way she never expected.

Though she hadn't let him in fully, she hadn't told him about her dad's ALS or her terrible relationship with her mother, she had revealed parts of her that had taken others in her life much longer to uncover.

He had an effect on her that she just couldn't understand. Perhaps he had that effect on everyone and she just wasn't that special. Part of her didn't believe that, but maybe it was just wishful thinking.

And then she had gone and taken her phone from him in the most sexually charged way possible. She didn't even realize she had it in her! She tried to figure out why she did that and how she mustered up the courage to do that, and finally came to the conclusion that since Barry wasn't attracted to her in any way, there was no harm in a little faux physical flirting. It was all to better herself as a fake girlfriend.

This was all for her grades, Caitlin reminded herself.

That was it. That was the reason.

But she couldn't understand why she had such a hard time convincing herself of that.

When she finally reached home, it took her a second to register that Felicity was sitting at the kitchen counter. Felicity seemed to be in a similar state of mind as her and jolted in her seat, spooked at the sound of the door opening. It looked like she was in deep concentration before Caitlin had showed up, incredibly focused on a small toy in her hand.

However, upon seeing Caitlin, Felicity quickly cleared the counter and shoved whatever she was holding into her pocket. "Cait! It's almost lunch, I thought you would be back right after your exam. Speaking of, how was it?"

She did take the exam today, Caitlin realized. So much had happened after that, she had forgotten the moment that had been part of her nightmares for so long.

"Felicity," Caitlin said, all thought of small talk forgotten. "I need your help."

After a quick summary of what happened after the exam, leaving out certain flirtations, Caitlin leaned against the counter next to Felicity and nodded. "So yeah. I have a double date tonight with Barry and... Iris."

Felicity blinked. Though she didn't know the full story, about Barry's plot to convince Iris to develop romantic feelings for him, she still knew enough about his history with her to know that he had once (still) harbored strong feelings towards the girl. "Do we have any ice cream?" Felicity finally asked, going to the freezer. "Today feels like an ice cream kind of day."

"Did you not hear me?" Caitlin asked. "I have a date tonight and I need to look good or something."

"All the more reason to eat ice cream. No one actually goes on dates to eat. You have to eat beforehand." Felicity handed her a giant spoon and opened up their carton of mint chocolate chip ice cream.

"I don't think ice cream is going to fill me up though," Caitlin argued as she simultaneously dunked the spoon into the creamy treat and pulled out a scoop. "Mmhh." Any protests against ice cream before a date was lost in her larynx.

She took a seat at the counter, while Felicity leaned against the slab on the other side, the two of them separated by the container of creamy, minty goodness.

"So a date, huh?" Felicity asked, scooping another spoonful and licking it off the utensil. "Also, why do you only buy mint chocolate chip ice cream? The most garbage flavor of ice cream?"

"Yep, a date. And nope, do not diss the mint chocolate chip. It's original and cool and refreshing."

"All ice cream is cool, Cait! It has ice in its name!" Felicity argued, scooping another spoon of the green treat into her mouth.

"Felicity, the date, remember?" Caitlin tried to steer the conversation back on topic.

"Right, right, your date or rather, double date. You've already moved past singular dates, are you even ready for double dates?"

"Nope."

Felicity stopped eating her ice cream and looked at her. "You know you can tell Barry 'no', right? We live in the 21st century, where a women has rights and doesn't have to do everything a man asks. Ever heard of it?"

"I want to though!" Caitlin winced at the terrible lie. "I mean, I kinda do? I might not be ready, but I don't think I ever could be. I just have to do this and get it over with."

"Wow, sounds romantic."

"You know what I mean."

"Actually, I don't."

"Today, Barry was so... I don't know... funny and kind and understanding and— anyway, we ended up on the subject of childhoods and I- I didn't tell him about dad or anything, but... I did tell him about Killer Frost and—"

"You told Barry about Frosty?" Felicity exclaimed. "The bane of my existence?"

Caitlin laughed. "I told you, Felicity. Frost is my best animal friend. You're my best human friend."

Felicity merely harrumphed and ate another spoonful of ice cream. "I can't believe I have to compete with a cat."

"Anyway, what I was trying to say is that I could feel myself opening up to Barry and it scares me and you're like the only other person I've opened up to like that besides my dad and probably Cisco. It feels weird because I've known you guys for so long before doing that, but I've only known Barry, like really known him, for less than a semester."

"Romantic love is different, Cait," Felicity advised wisely. "It feels different. It is different."

Caitlin rubbed tiredly at her eyes. "It's not that, Felicity."

"Why not?" At her silence, Felicity continued, "You opened up to me and it was hard at first but you broke through that wall with me. What's stopping you from doing the same with Barry?"

Because it's not real.

"Because it's too soon."

"That doesn't sound like a good enough reason."

"Ugh," Caitlin responded, laying her head down on the cool counter. "Enough about me now. How's Oliver?"

"Ugh, enough about boys," Felicity countered. "It's always Barry this and Oliver that with the two of us. We're just constantly failing the Bechdel test!"

"You know what? You're right! Screw boys!" At Felicity's mischievous grin, Caitlin pointed her empty spoon at her. "No. Not like that. Get your mind out of the gutter."

Felicity burst out laughing and Caitlin could not help but join in.