A few days ago, Shivaay had really thought that he was never going to get a chance to do this. But now, laying on the lounge chairs and gazing at the beautiful, starlit sky; he had to agree that he felt like he was destiny's favourite child. He had managed to survive the hot fire of hell and returned.
Sure, he still had violent nightmares and flashes. Neither could he look at water, soups or medicines without cursing his luck. A lot of times, everything felt faint around him. Many times, he found himself looking over his shoulders for a tall man, for a woman in two pigtails and big teeth, for unknown people following him. He still had to go to the therapist. His feelings still felt messed up and there was an inexplicable fear in his heart that he could not shake off.
But still, Shivaay was alive. And well. He couldn't be more thankful.
"Shivaay..." Annika mindlessly and shamelessly caressed his wrist. She had unknowingly gotten into a habit of caressing the part where he once had the bruises from the restraints. But instead of the pain, Shivaay always felt like her touch soothed it. She asked, "What are you thinking?"
His lips automatically wanted to smile at her concern but the petty part of him perked up. Shivaay looked at her and sighed, "I am thinking how my cruel wife booked the worst holiday for me."
Annika glared at him. "It isn't a holiday. It is a wellness resort and you are here to heal."
He raised a brow. "So you agree to the cruel wife part?"
"Shut up!" Annika lightly slapped his thigh.
Shivaay chuckled and pulled her closer to him. "Come close. You might get a whiff of the wonderful oil they poured all over me."
"Shivaay..." Annika groaned.
"No really," Shivaay sneered. "I felt like they were marinating me to barbeque me later."
Annika laughed. "Well, that's what you get for taking panga with me."
"True. Like Rudra says for you, one time panga, lifetime nanga..." mumbled Shivaay with a grin.
Annika squeezed her eyes shut. "Disgusting. You guys are disgusting."
"I agree!" Shivaay laughed and kissed her head. "But I am all that only for you."
It made Annika smile. She looked up and kissed his chin. "And I love that."
Shivaay flicked her nose. "Tell me. Are you feeling good here?"
She nodded. "Better. I am not there yet. But I will feel better once everything goes back to normal. Once you start going to the office, I will be good. Genuinely."
Shivaay couldn't help but kiss her sneaky lips again. "What's the rush? Are you tired of me?"
She chuckled. "If it was in my hands, I wouldn't let you go away from my eyes even for a moment. But it's life. Eventually, you will have to go back to it."
"Yeah..." Shivaay sighed. Then without intending, he spoke something that he never wanted to talk about. "Annika, do you think about the baby business that the family is obsessed with?"
Annika went silent. There were times when she had found herself thinking of a little life growing within her. Someone who would have Shivaay's eyes, her nose. Someone whose cries and giggles would fill up their hearts and home. Someone who would make her heart so happy that she could cry. Someone who would complete her and Shivaay's love.
And then there were times when the same thoughts scared her. She never got the love of her parents. Shakti and Pinky were alright now but when he was growing up, they weren't the most ideal parents to Shivaay. Tej and Jhanvi were bad parents to Om, Rudra and Priyanka.
Could she and Shivaay break the jinx and become good parents? What if they also raised a sad soul? What if she failed?
It all left her cold.
"I feel like it is time for us to take that plunge..." Shivaay whispered. "It will be nice to have a child. I don't know why but I feel jealous of people who have kids now. Is it my age? Or is it my stupidity?"
Annika heard him giggle and sighed. "I don't know, Shivaay."
"What?" he shifted in his spot. "What do you mean?"
"I mean," Annika exhaled. "It's scary. What if I don't turn out to be a good mother?"
Her words made him snort. Annika narrowed her eyes. "What?"
Shivaay shook his head. "You have to be kidding. Annika! How can you not be a good mother? Did you see yourself when I was sick? Now? You have this inbuilt part in you that just knows how to nurture. I lived because of you. You looked after my food, my health, my needs, my everything...if this is not motherly then what is? And Ru and Om? Aren't you just like their mother? What are you talking about? You will be an awesome mother! I would have liked it more if your fear was about me."
Annika rolled her eyes. "Please. You have been a father to Om and Ru since forever. What's there to fear?"
Shivaay clapped. "So great. We both will be good."
Annika paused. He was right. Maybe she was just overthinking it. She nodded. "I guess."
Then she squared her shoulders and waved her hand. "Anyway. That's in the future. We will think of it when we go back to Mumbai. Let's enjoy this place now."
Shivaay grinned like an idiot. "Yeah. Let's enjoy this place now."
He smacked his lips on hers and the night was filled with the noise of their moans and happy giggles. Shivaay didn't know if his body was healed or not but his heart surely was.
