The Ga on call room

She wouldn't be Derek Shepherd !

The following week saw Meredith trudging towards the locker room after a thirty-six hour shift, lost in thought, only to cross paths with her fellow resident, Jessie Walker.

"Hey, Mer.", Jessie greeted with tired voice

Meredith only managed a smile in response.

Jessie was one of the first real friends that Meredith had made when arriving in London and consequently in St Mary's Hospital four years ago. Jessie possessed Izzie's enthusiasm coupled with Cristina's brutal honesty. She was definitely a lucky find for Meredith.

Jessie studied Meredith's resigned composure and couldn't help but feel for her. The last couple of months had been hard on Meredith, and the long work days were definitely not helping her already strained situation.

"So, have you given any thought to Izzie's suggestion, to leave London earlier and spend a few extra weeks in Seattle helping plan the wedding of the century?", Jess asked, in an attempt to at least get a smile out of Meredith.

Meredith giggled in acknowledgement, and said, " I don't know. I..I want to..but..I can't leave, not now anyway. Not with Lachlan the way he is..."

Meredith barely got to finish what she was saying before Jessie interrupted, " Meredith the last few months have been about Lache. You have barely ever put yourself first, and I think it's time you did. You can't be there for him anymore than you have been. You can't help him if he won't let you."

"Don't you think I know that!", Meredith retorted. "Don't you know how much my heart breaks just that little bit more every night that he doesn't come home? Don't you think I don't notice how he flinches when I touch him? I won't leave him as long as I don't have to Jessie. "

"But can't you see Meredith? Can't you see that there comes a time when things have get just too hard, and you have to save yourself, before you let it destroy you? You shouldn't have to lie in bed alone, you shouldn't have to prepare a meal for two when only one is going to eat it. You don't deserve this." Jessie said in exasperation. It felt like they had had this conversation a million times in the last month.

" Well neither does he! You don't run when things get hard Jessie." Meredith replied, while shoving her clothes into the gym bag she brought to work. "Love is hard work, and sometimes hard work hurts."

"Jesus Mer, this is worse than I thought. Now you of all people are sprouting sappy things about how love is patient, love is kind... Where's my cynical tequila drinking friend?"

"God Jess!... I just... I know what it feels like to have someone give up on you when you feel utterly helpless. There's no worse feeling in this world. Just give him a break, okay?"

"I know Meredith, but Lache needs to move on, or you need to move on without him."

"You know Jess, there's times when I really don't like you." Meredith said with a defeated smile.

"Yeah, and those are the times when you know I'm right. Anyway, if you feel like wallowing in self –pity and drowning some tequila, let me know. We haven't done it in a while, not since you became Little Miss Ever-Faithful girlfriend." With that last little taunt Jessie gave Meredith a hug and bid St Mary's goodnight.

Meredith found herself lost in thought, thinking about what Jessie said, but she refused to take her advice. If she did, then that would make her just as bad as Derek Shephered. She was not going to leave just because the going got tough. When you loved someone, you never give up on them, and Meredith knew that she loved Lache. He wasn't an awful person, she had been in his position, she knew what it felt to have the world kick you down. She only wished that someone had stuck around while it kicked her. She wouldn't abandon Lache. They would get through this, then there would be good times again and boy, when it was good, it was good.

"Mark, why in God's name are you wearing sunglasses inside the house?" Izzie Stevens wondered in bewilderment. It was times like these that she seriously questioned not only Mark's sanity, but her own for agreeing to marry him.

"Because it's just a little bit too sunny...", Mark paused and then continued, "...honey"

" Which is Mark Sloan talk for, ' I drank too much last night and now I can't even face the light of day for fear of an even bigger hangover', but seriously are the sunglasses really necessary?"

"Sure are sweet pea. They make me.., what is that word that you and Yang always use...hardcore?"

"No, Mark they don't, and I thought we talked about terms of endearment. You can't pull them off, so its better for all involved if you don't try. You should stick to what you do best, which is look pretty." Izzie responded, while swatting his hands away from the choc-chip cookie mixture she was currently stirring.

"Ha, ha, wife to be. You are so funny; I'm rolling my eyes, even though you can't see them because of my sunglasses." Mark responded dryly.

Izzie simply smirked before continuing, " I called Meredith yesterday. I asked her if she wanted to come here a few weeks before the wedding... you know...for a bit of a break."

The mention of Meredith dragged Mark from his teasing mood. "You sure that's the best thing? She's got enough to worry about as it is, what with Lachlan and all. The last thing she needs is to deal with your bridzilla moments.." Mark was interrupted by a smack to the arm with Izzie's wooden spoon, before continuing, "...and having to see Dumb and Dumber", he finished.

Izzie fought off a smile as she recalled Mark's heartfelt nicknames for Derek and his sickly sweet nurse. Derek was known as 'Dumb', for not telling Rose to take a hike for the last four years, and Rose was ''Dumber' for refusing to leave Derek's side even though it was clear to every man and his dog that Derek was only partially in the relationship. The rest of him went to London with Meredith on that February morning.

Derek and Rose had remained stagnant in their relationship for the last few years. They put Meredith and Derek's on-off relationship to shame. They were quite the contradiction, considering their claim to know what they wanted and ability to be ready for marriage.

It was Derek, the expert on relationships that prevented him and Rose from moving forward. At first Mark thought he was simply hesitant to launch into yet another relationship, to get back on the horse, figuratively, not literally of course. After all, that man had never been single a day in his life. However, Mark soon realized that it wasn't cold feet. If he Mark Sloan, the king of commitment phobia, could actually commit to a woman, but Derek still couldn't, then something was not right. Rose and Derek simply co-existed with the benefits. Rose could claim she had McDreamy and Derek wouldn't be alone. Derek finally got the destination, but it wasn't the happily ever after he had in mind.

Izzie wondered how Rose could stay with Derek when the relationship refused to change. Surely the chance to claim McDreamy as yours was not worth a woman's dignity and self-respect? Mark simply wondered how heavy that engagement ring was around her neck. It would be close to five years that it would have been hanging there and wasn't showing any signs of imminent removal.

"I don't know Mark." Izzie responded. "I just think the break from all the stress would do her good. Plus, she won't have to see Derek and Rose that much. She can stick with the old gang for most of the time."

"Except for when she has to walk down the aisle with Derek at our wedding." Mark reminded her.

"Well...I haven't exactly told her about that part just yet." Izzie admitted.

Mark raised his eyebrows, "If I were you, I'd tell her sooner rather than later...pookie."

" Mark, the fact that 5 minutes has passed does not mean that you are any better at pet names, just give it up already. Also, take those sunglasses off, I can't take you seriously."