The Ga on call room

Confronting Meredith

Derek found himself tossing and turning all night; Lachlan's words plaguing every part of his body, so he decided to go to the ferryboats early the next morning in an attempt to clear his head.

She said you were a one night stand that stayed one and a half years too long
Derek wondered if there was any real truth to those words. Did Meredith really see him a, and their relationship as being a one night stand that overstayed its welcome?

The very thought broke his heart into one million tiny pieces. Derek had been so certain that Meredith was still as in love with him as he was with her, when they had danced together the night before. They had moved in perfect harmony, like they always had; as though they were the missing parts of one another. Could he have been so wrong about her feelings?

Derek knew that at least in his eyes, the 'thing', that he and Meredith shared was more than sex and lust. It was an eternal love, a connection that would last a lifetime and beyond.

As Derek approached the docks, he saw a familiar figure sitting on a bench in front of the ferryboats.

It was Meredith.

The one person who Derek wanted to see so desperately, but at the same time feared the most. She literally held the rest of his life in her hands; she was the only person who would be able to tell him if he really had gotten everything so wrong.

Deciding to rip off the band aid, Derek approached the bench.

As Meredith had been sitting there, she had sensed his presence immediately, she didn't even need to look up; after all, they were soulmates.

She gave him a quick look, coupled with a small smile that clenched at Derek's heart. It was enough to make him momentarily forget about his own hurt.

"What's wrong?" Derek asked as soon as he sat down.

Meredith didn't answer right away; she just seemed to be lost in her won world; in a trance as she stared at the scenery in front of her.

"Lachlan and I...we...we kind of had a fight." Meredith eventually admitted. "He was keeping something from me, I found out and...well you know how much I love it when people omit the truth." Meredith told him, sarcasm evident in her voice.

Derek tried to ignore the pang of guilt he felt at her words. However, he couldn't help but wonder what Lachlan had been hiding from Meredith. Of course, Derek had known Lachlan had been keeping something, and by the look on Meredith's face, it was not something completely devastating, but it was bad enough.

"What happened?" Derek asked.

"I don't think Lachlan would appreciate me telling you, considering the last time..." Meredith replied, giving Derek a knowing look.

"Ah, yes." Derek remembered.

"And besides, it's a 'couplely' thing." Meredith finished.

"A 'couplely' thing?" Derek laughed slightly.

"You know what I mean. Anyway, we talked through it, and I'm trying to get past it." Meredith said firmly.

"Wow. You really are a different person than the one you were four years ago." Derek told her.

"You have no idea..: Meredith muttered, looking out at a ferryboat that was about to leave the dock.

Derek waited a couple of minutes, before finally asking the question that had been haunting every fiber of his being since the night before.

"Do you really think that I was a one night stand that lasted one and a half years too long?" Derek wanted to know, his heart lurching in his throat.

Meredith's world stopped as soon as those words left Derek's mouth. She had only ever said that once and it was two and a half years ago, when she was still hurt and pissed off, and Lachlan had only just come into her life.

"Oh my god...you did..." Derek choked out when Meredith failed to answer.

Meredith knew that there was no point in trying to deny it; Lachlan had obviously told Derek last night, during another one of their stupid pissing contests. At that moment Meredith really hated the male species.

"Yes Derek, I did say that. You may not believe me right now, and frankly, I can't really blame you, but I didn't mean it, and I definitely don't think it now."

"Then why did you even say it?" Derek demanded, he couldn't believe that she could seem so calm about it.

However, that was about to change.

"Because I was still hurting! One and a half years was not long enough for me to get the image of you and Rose out of my mind!" Meredith snapped.

"Oh, so you being hurt, is enough of an excuse to just degrade what we had!" Derek asked, defensively.

"Yes. Yes I think it is. We all say things in anger Derek! I seem to remember you insinuating that I was a whore, because you were jealous over Finn!"

"Don't you dare try to turn this around on me! I know I've fucked up plenty of times, and you've been more than willing to throw those things in my face since you got back to Seattle."

"Oh please..." Meredith began, frustrated with how he was handling the situation. "I said it years ago Derek, I didn't mean it. I wanted to move on with my life...I had to put you and our relationship in the past..."

"So that gives you the right to tell your boyfriend that I was just a one night stand that outstayed his welcome? Sorry if I seem to be overreacting, but I had been under the impression that we had actually been in love, and it wasn't just sex!" Derek ranted, refusing to let Meredith get away with just pushing his feelings aside.

"Lust doesn't last past the next morning Derek! We did. We lasted months of your wife being back; we lasted past hurt and angry words; we lasted four years of separation; we even survived me dying. If that's not love then I don't know what is!" Meredith almost sobbed.

Derek froze at her words. She had said the word 'love'. It was the first time since she had been back, that she had given any verbal indication that she loved him. Derek's anger at her diminished instantly. That was all he had needed. He had needed a reason to go on, to not give up on their future. Meredith had renewed his faith.

"I'm sorry that I hurt you Derek. I'll try not to throw your mistakes back in your face anymore. It's just...after four years there is still that hurt." Meredith admitted. "But Derek, you need to know...you meant more to me than lust. You do mean more to me than lust...so much more."

Derek pulled her closer to him, and was relieved when she didn't pull away.

"It just really hurt having to hear those words coming from your boyfriend's mouth. It was like a smack in the face." Derek whispered.

"I know. But Derek...he would never have said that for no reason, you must have said something to provoke him..." Meredith replied, with a knowing smile.

"I may have." Derek admitted.

"Hmmm...Can you really blame him for retaliating? Do you expect him to let you walk all over him? Derek...whether you like it or not, Lachlan is my boyfriend, he has been for the last two and a half years, that doesn't go away just because we're back in each others lives." Meredith said, knowing that the truth would hurt.

"I really don't know Derek. I've said that before, but it's the truth. I just can't cast Lachlan aside; he means so much more to me than that. He was there when you weren't."

Derek had heard those words before and they still hurt the same.

"You have to make a decision Meredith. Eventually...you will have to make a decision."

And that day would come soon enough.