The Ga on call room

I thought we could be friends

About half an hour later, Derek found himself walking towards the elevator, lost in thought and it was no guessing where his thoughts could be found either. As Derek got on the elevator he saw a delicate hand come through the doors, in an attempt to stop them from closing.

Derek knew without seeing the person's face that it was Meredith. Elevators had always been their thing. However, it wasn't just for that reason that he knew it was Meredith. He would recognize those hands anywhere; they had been entwined with his, they had caressed his body, been run over his face and through his hair. Derek would always know when Meredith was near.

Meredith looked startled for a moment when she spotted him on the elevator. As the fates would have it, they were alone.

Meredith hopped on, which surprised Derek, he thought she would opt to take the stairs, but she didn't. Then again, Derek thought, he shouldn't be surprised; she was not the same Meredith anymore, their fight in the on-call half an hour ago proved that.

Derek watched her out of the corner of his eye, drinking up her essence, her aroma. His insides curdled at the thought of never being able to hold her, to touch her ever again. He knew what he had to do, but could he bring himself to do it? Could he bring himself to fight for her when he had a chance at losing? Did he want to put himself through the possible heartbreak?

Meredith took in Derek's facial expression as she made her way onto the elevator and recognized the look in his eyes, for it was reflected in her own; they were tired.

They were tired of the hurt, of the hold that they seemed to have over one another, they were tired of the merry-go-round they had been on since the moment they had met, but neither one of them could bring themselves to get off. That's what their love was like. It was like spinning around with your arms outstretched and refusing to stop, because when once you did, everything would come crashing down.

"Is this how it's going to be?" Derek whispered, although there was no other living soul in the elevator.

"I don't see how there can be another way." Meredith responded softly.

"You know, when you were in London, missing you didn't hurt that much, because I was able to convince myself that the situation was different. I could concoct some type of story and convince myself of it...but now that you're here, and I still can't...don't have you, it hurts so much worse." Derek admitted.

"I guess that sayings true, you don't know what it's like to miss someone until they're standing right next to you, knowing that you can't have them." Meredith said her voice breaking.

There was so much truth to those words that neither could deny them.

Suddenly Derek spoke, anything to break the silence.

"Are you going home now?..you saw Lexie?" he asked.

"Yeah...I...um...Izzie wanted me to get home because she has a package coming, I have no idea what it is, but apparently we need to sign for it..."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

The two former lovers, but eternal soul mates stood side by side, as the elevator reached its destination, their fingers involuntarily flinching, aching to be joined.

——————

Around eight thirty that evening, Derek found himself sitting at Joe's Bar, Mark by his side, Derek drinking his scotch like it was water.

"Are you going to say something?. Anything?" Mark prodded

"How did I let it get so wrong?" Derek asked, mainly soaking to himself.

"It's your attitude man...you jump straight into things, you don't think them through, and then you have to face the inevitable consequences. If you just took space, some time to breath, we wouldn't always end up at Joe's with you wallowing in self pity." Mark finished.

"I'm so glad we're friends."

"Yeah, well...after today I'm literally the only friend you've got." Mark told him as he took a sip of his drink. "...and if you treat Izzie or anyone else for that matter like that again, you will on your own..." Mark warned him

" I know. When I see Izzie, I'll apologize. Heck, I'll even stop by the house tonight so I can say sorry."

"Actually...um...not tonight...she's...we have someone coming over." Mark said as he attempted to make an excuse

"At this hour?' Derek frowned.

"It's the only time we could get them to come...just wedding stuff." Mark added.

The two men were so engrossed in their conversation, that they failed to notice a tall, dark-haired man with brown hazel eyes approach the bar and order an expensive bottle of red wine. The man was about to interrupt, due to the fact that he had recognized Mark, but decided not too when he caught some of their conversation.

"Well at least try and not make an ass out of yourself this time Mark." Derek told his best friend. "I can't save you from humiliation when I'm not there can I?

"Very funny." Mark responded. "At least it's not possible to look like as much of a dick as you did this morning." He reminded Derek.

Derek winced as he recounted his moment of embarrassment and misunderstanding earlier in the day.

"It's like you were on some war path and no one could stop you...I even tried to, but you wouldn't listen. That's exactly the type of headstrong attitude I was talking about. I can't believe I'm telling you this, but you really have to think before you act." Mark said.

"That's rich coming from you. I couldn't help it...when it comes to Meredith..." Derek trailed off.

The mention of Meredith's name prompted the man at the bar to lean closer to the two men.

"Maybe you need to see someone about your insane anger tendencies." Mark replied, with seriousness.

"Shut up."

"You were like a man possessed. I'm surprised that Izzie and Cristina didn't castrate you with a spoon . Heck I thought Meredith would have if she had the chance."

"You and me both."

"I just can't believe that you practically announced to the hospital that Meredith was pregnant, you may as well have posted it on the morning news broadcast..." Mark laughed

"MEREDITH'S PREGNANT!"

Derek and Mark whipped their heads around, as they finally noticed the man standing next to them at the bar, with a bottle of red wine dangling from his hand.

"Fuck." Mark stated.

"I can think of better words than that Mark." the man responded.

"Who are you?" Derek asked in confusion, looking between Mark and the man at the bar.

"Derek Shepherd meet Lachlan Jackson...Meredith's boyfriend. He arrived late this afternoon." Mark introduced, willing the ground to swallow him up.