The Ga on call room

Pt 3

"I...I spoke to Jessie today." Lachlan said.

"Look ...whatever she said...I...It's not..." Meredith rambled

"Hey...Hey... just listen please?" he interrupted, and Meredith couldn't help but notice that for once he didn't smell like scotch.

Meredith nodded her head in an attempt to encourage Lachlan to continue.

"And...I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I know that those might be empty words for you right now and I don't blame you one bit if you can't bring yourself to believe me. If I could take back the last couple of months I would. I'm just...I'm just so sorry." Lachlan said, in a tone of desperation.

He thought back to the conversation he had with Jessie earlier today and couldn't help but wonder why Meredith was still here. He was glad that she was, but he just didn't think he deserved her love and support.

"Can't you see what you're doing Lachlan. I know you're hurting and you have every right to be. That accident.. what happened...Justin was... what I'm trying to say is that nobody blames you for grieving. Nobody blames you if you feel like you've died inside, but I'm just asking you to open your eyes, because Mer... she's dying inside too."

Jessie's words had hit Lachlan hard, but they had the effect she had hoped. Lachlan drove his ass straight home and started to right his wrongs. While he attempted to clean the apartment and make it livable again, he thought of ways that he could try and gain her trust again, to deserve her love again. He knew that some big cheesy speech would not win her over. For some reason such speeches meant nothing to her. She had made that clear early on in their relationship.

"So, if I wanted to impress such a fine lady as yourself, what do you suggest I do?" Lachlan asked in amusement, as Meredith looked wearily at the bunch of Roses he had presented her with, in an attempt to win her over.

"Show up. Stick to your word. Don't tell me things if you don't mean them. Actions are more to me than words. Also, I love any flower except Roses. For some reason I never understood the fascination with them."

Of course, as their relationship progressed he learned all about the neurosurgeon from Seattle and he was determined not to repeat his mistakes. However, Lachlan was sure that his behavior over the last few months was running to a close second to that of "McAss".

"Thank-you, Lachlan, but you don't have to be sorry. I've been where you are. I know what that type of loss feels like... I could never resent you for that. Never." Meredith trailed off. Lachlan pulled her closer to him and wrapped his arms around her.

"Yeah, but it doesn't excuse my actions. It doesn't excuse the fact that I spent my nights drinking at the bar, than here with you. I should have let you comfort me, I should have let you grieve with me."

Meredith couldn't help but agree with him on that one.

"You know that we can't go back to the way things were straight away, don't you Lachlan?"

He pulled back and looked into her eyes. "I know that, believe me I know. But I'm going to do everything I can. You know, I saw Izzie's invite. You should go and I will go with you. I also think that you should take her up on her offer to go to Seattle a bit earlier." Lachlan said, with a knowing smile

"How did you..." Meredith wondered

"Jessie, of course"

When he saw her hesitation, Lachlan continued. "I'll be fine. It'll only be a few weeks and then I'll meet you there and save you from Bridezilla and Cristina."

"If you're sure.."

"I've never been more certain". Lachlan replied, even though there was a time when he had, and that is what caused him to be a complete ass these last few months. Attempting to push the guilt aside, he kissed Meredith softly on the lips and gave her that crooked smile she loved so much.

"Go give Izzie a call, and then we can have dinner."

"You didn't..."

"No Mer. I didn't attempt to cook. Just because I've finally decided to take my head out of my ass, it doesn't include me getting cooking lessons. However, I would be more than willing to pay so you could get some..."

Meredith playfully smacked him, while going over to the phone. She couldn't believe how much her day had changed. She was prepared to come home to yet another night alone, but somehow Jess had gotten through to Lachlan. She didn't know how, but whatever it was, she was thankful. However, it didn't mean that all was forgiven; both of them knew it would still take a while.

Lachlan watched Meredith as she talked animatedly to Izzie, loving the smile that brightened up her face. It had been a while since he'd seen that and he hated that he had been the cause of its disappearance. For about the millionth time in the last three months, his mind flashed to the moment that caused a part of him to die inside.

It was a Saturday afternoon, and it was surprisingly sunny one for London. By some freak of nature, both Lachlan and his best friend, Justin, had the afternoon off.

These two were North London's version of Derek and Mark, minus the whole sleeping with the other's wife thing and they weren't surgeons, they were paramedics.

"Well if I knew that you were going to act like this I wouldn't have asked you." Lachlan replied with a glare. "I just want everything to be perfect for tonight and I thought that as you're my best friend, you might want to help."

Don't worry. I've been watching the hallmark program all week so that I can help you devise the perfect proposal." Justin said sarcastically as he opened the passenger door.

"Funny." Lachlan replied as he started the car.

"I don't know why you're so worried. Grey and you have been making everybody at St Mary's sick with sweetness over the last couple of years, there's no way she'll say no."

"Besides, she has to say yes, otherwise yours truly won't get the chance to host the bachelor party of all bachelor parties." Justin stated.

"Yeah, you're right." He replied with a newfound confidence.

"Of course I am. Now let's go have some celebratory afternoon drinks."

As Lachlan parked the car, and they crossed the road to the pub, some bastard decided to run a red light. Everything happened so fast.

Justin pushed Lachlan out of the way

A continual honking of horns

Screaming

Lachlan lifting his head, his hand coming into contact with the blood from the back of his head

Justin, dead in the middle of the road

Meredith's ring lay forgotten in his pocket. Three months later and he still wouldn't have asked her.

Lachlan got a way with a simple concussion. A goddamn concussion. Justin didn't get away at all. The guilt ate Lachlan up. If he hadn't dragged Justin along, it wouldn't have happened. There still would have been the bachelor party of all bachelor parties; Meredith would have had a ring on her finger, and Justin would still be alive.