𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐨𝐨𝐭𝐡 | 𝐩.𝐜

𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐧

___

The four boys eyed me and Ponyboy, hell they practically took a photograph with their eyes just to prove to us they caught me and him in the act.

The act I was supposed to confess.

Not a great act to be caught in, if you ask me.

"God dammit! Can two people get some privacy for once?" Pony stood up protectively. I almost started to snicker until my eyes met Johnny's. He looked as though someone had just stolen his puppy.

He looked as though his heart had been ripped out of his chest.

And as I sat and quickly pondered, I realized; he must've felt that way as well.

I thought about the night on the couch, in the hallway. I felt utterly clueless to my surroundings, sick to my stomach in self deprecation. I had been leading Johnny on without the slightest of a clue.

And it hurt, so much.

It must've hurt so much worse for him.

As Pony ushered Two Bit, Steve, Soda and Johnny out of the room I stood up behind the pretty brunette boy.

"Sorry 'bout that, what did you want to say?" He smiled.

"Oh um-" I screwed up my face trying to think of an excuse.

"I just needed some socks."

Pony's face relaxed, turning into a disappointed frown. "That's not a crazy request" he questioned.

I just laughed it off, though inside it was paining me to not just shout in his face on how much I love him.

How much I care.

He returned to his dresser once more, grabbing thick grey socks that looked to be five times bigger than my own feet size.

Even though I thought I had big feet for a girl.

"Here 'ya go sweets" He put the scratchy material into my hands, planting a quick peck on my rosy cheeks.

I took off the soaked fabric and replaced them with the wooly, worn out socks.

"Thanks Pone. I should get back now, Dal's might get worried with me gone in a rainstorm y'know" I chuckled, getting up from my seat on the creaky bed.

"Is something going on Katherine." It was more of an accusation then a question.

I whipped my head back to look at the solem boy.

"What do you mean?" I furrowed my brows.

"You seriously mean to tell me you walked all the way here, in a rainstorm to just ask for some socks? And even if that is the case, you were obviously already outside for them to get that wet."

He quickly licked his soft lips, a habit he does when he gets nervous.

It surprised me a bit that I remembered that ever so useless detail.

"Well I was on the South Side-"

"What?"

I bit my lip, trying to organize my thoughts in the best way. Trying to stay calm and collective so I wouldn't say something wrong.

"I was apologizing to Randy, about what Dally did to him. You shoulda' seen him. He was all black and blue" I tried to play it off cool, like it was no big deal.

And it wasn't, at least that's what I thought.

Pony's mouth fell agape.

"You went to see Randy. As in Soc Randy?"

"Yes, as I said, I was apologizing"

"To Randy."

"YES PONY. What is it you're not getting?"

He put his index and thumb to the bridge of his nose.

"Don't you think for a second that I didn't see you two at Buck's. The entire time I was with Cherry I was watching you like a hawk. And then you disappeared."

"With him."

I felt the world crumble beneath my feet. He thought I cheated on him.

Ponyboy Curtis.

The love of my life.

Thought I cheated on him.

"No Pony, don't you dare even think that. You know I would NEVER"

He started to cry.

"I honestly don't know. You have to understand how this looks"

Tears started to brim. "I know exactly how it looks, that's why i'm so upset Pony. I'm upset that you would even for one second think I would cheat on you."

"Well he seems your type. Remember that Soc boy that you went on a date with, hmm what was his name again?"

I was fuming with anger. Not at him though, at myself.

For even letting this happen, I should've stayed where I was told. I should've never drank.

I should've told Ponyboy that I loved him.

Pony went on rambling about how he felt, all of it came to background noise for me because all that was repeating in my own, sick, hurt mind was.

"Ponyboy, I love you."

Everything fell silent, everything.

And as I met those- those eyes.

The eyes that made me so, over the moon with love.

I felt every tear come in with full force, tsunami force.

I turned around, cheeks hot, and opened the door.

Just for the four boys to be eavesdropping.

Great.

But at this point I didn't care.

I couldn't.

I rushed out of that house without a second thought, the same thing blaring in my mind.

Pathetic.

Pathetic.

Pathetic.

The first boy i've ever loved, and I probably just ruined it all.

Why couldn't I just have stayed silent?

Why couldn't I just have kept it to myself?

Why.

"KATHERINE"

I smiled at the voice.

I ran through the rain pelting at me, I wrapped Johnny into a hug.

"I am so stupid. I'm sorry Johnny please be mad at me. Scream at me, hit me, tell me how utterly clueless and pathetic I am"

Johnny just hugged me, resting his chin on my soaked hair.

"You're gonna be okay Kat"

"I'm so sorry"

"I was being immature and selfish Katherine, I should be saying sorry"

"But I am sorry"

"Me too"

We stood there in the rain for a while, I knew that I would be okay for a while. Not thinking of Ponyboy.

Johnny held my hand for the last time, walking me back to my house.

And as we reached the front door, I looked back at Johnny.

"Are we still friends?"

"Always" Johnny replied.

And I looked at that scar, and that face.

"We're good buddies, aren't we Johnny cakes?" Tears streaming down my wet face.

He chuckled, lowering his head.

"Yeah, the toughest buddies there are."

And I smiled.

Knowing that it was okay for now.