Letters to Stacie

The Results

*a/n: Don't know if any of you guys watch Chicago Med, but if you do I included a little bit of Manstead in this chapter. Also just wanted to give a little disclaimer that this is probably one of the saddest chapters. So I apologize in advance*

It's been a week since Aubrey's blood test, and to say that blond was nervous would be an understatement. When she arrived at the hospital to get her test results, she stopped for a moment and just sat in her car, mentally preparing herself for the worst case scenario. When she couldn't sit in the car any longer and she had to go into the building, she exited the car and approached the building, her hands shaking slightly. She then made her way upstairs to the doctor's office, and signed in at the front desk, before taking a seat in the waiting room. Fifteen minutes later, a nurse called Aubrey, leading her to an exam room to await her results. Not even a minute after the nurse had left, the doctor had entered Aubrey's room, test results in hand.

"How are you today, Ms. Posen?" Dr. Manning asked the blond, "Have you experienced any of your prior symptoms since I saw you last week."

"Well, Dr. Manning..." Aubrey was interrupted by her doctor.

"Please, call me Natalie," the brunette said with a smile.

"Sorry, Natalie," Aubrey said smiling back, "Anyway, I have still been experiencing the nosebleeds and shortness of breath. I'm noticing now though that I'm experiencing extreme fatigue, loss of appetite, and weight loss."

"Well, let's take a look at your test results then, shall we?"

What happened next is what made Aubrey nervous. As Natalie read her results, her smile remained on her face until she got about half-way down the page. Her smile quickly faded and was replaced by a look of sympathy. Aubrey knew at that point that whatever she just read, couldn't be good news.

"What is it Natalie?" the blond questioned, "It's bad, isn't it?"

"Your red blood cell and platelet counts are extremely low, but your white blood cell count is extremely high, which raises some concern for us. Ms. Posen, there is no easy way for me to tell you this. Your tests have led us to believe that you have Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia or ALL. I'm
so sorry."

Aubrey sat there stunned. She had just been told she is slowly but surely dying. The news hit her like a brick wall, and all at once she lost it. One minute she was sitting in the exam room awaiting her results, and the next she was reduced to tears, collapsed into Dr. Manning's arms.
Once Aubrey had composed herself enough to pull away from Natalie, her doctor explained the next steps she needed to take to begin treatment.

"I'm going to refer you to an oncologist, whom I work hands-on with here at the hospital. He will perform a bone marrow biopsy today to confirm your diagnosis. The test will also tell us how much your cancer has progressed and what stage you are at. The results are going to be
available on Monday, and at that time we will be able to select a course of treatment."

Aubrey just sat quietly and nodded as Natalie spoke, trying to remember every last word she said. When Natalie had finally gone over everything, she led Aubrey to oncology to meet Dr. Will Halstead, who was the head oncologist at the hospital and Natale's fiance. Natalie had apparently already gone over the results with Will because he already had everything set to go for the bone marrow biopsy. When they reached the room, Natalie turned to Aubrey.

"Look, I have to go back to my office, but I just wanted to wish you good luck," the brunette said, wrapping her arms around the blond, "I'll see you Monday."

With that, Natalie left, and Will began preparing Aubrey for the biopsy. He had her switch into a hospital gown so that her back was easily accessible to extract to bone marrow. Before he went on any further with the preparations, he turned to Aubrey, looking into her eyes with the same
sympathetic look that Natalie had given her.

"Do you have anyone you can call to give you a ride home?" He asked her.

"Well, I drove myself here," she said, "But I can call someone if need to."

"You are definitely going to want to call someone. You are not going to want or be able to drive after this."

Of course, this made Aubrey more nervous, but there was no turning back now. The procedure was definitely the most painful thing Aubrey had ever experienced in her lifetime. Will had inserted a needle that was a little over two inches long into Aubrey's lower back, with only a
shot of mild anesthetic to numb the area. Even though she was given the anesthetic, Aubrey still felt searing pain when the needle entered her back. It only took about ten minutes, but it was the most painful ten minutes of her life. Every second that passed felt like an eternity as she waited for the test to be completed. As Aubrey exited the room and made her way downstairs, a realization hit her. If Dr. Manning's diagnosis was correct this could become her new normal.
Frequent hospital stays, testing, and constantly feeling sick. She wasn't quite sure if she was ready for this
to become her new normal.

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Aubrey had called Chloe to pick her up from the hospital. Chloe agreed to drive Aubrey's car, while Beca drove Chloe's. Aubrey kept her eyes focused out the window afraid to look at her
best friend in the eyes. The drive to the apartment was extremely quiet until the ginger finally broke the silence.

"What were you doing at the hospital?" Chloe chuckled, "I thought you had class today."

Chloe's smile quickly faded when she realized that her best friend was sobbing quietly in the passenger seat. Crying partly due to the pain in her back, and partly because she didn't want Chloe to know what she was doing at the hospital. She didn't know if she could look at her best friend in
the eye and tell her she was dying. She knew that it would kill Chloe knowing she had cancer, but there was no point in trying to keep the news from her friend. She would have to tell her
eventually anyway.

"Chlo, I have cancer," Aubrey said, tears once again streaming down her face, "My doctor thinks that have Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia. I went for a bone marrow biopsy after which is why I needed you to drive me home. I'll get the results on Monday."
Chloe just sat there unsure of what to say. She just found out that her best friend could be dying. She wanted to break down and cry. She wanted to feel sympathetic for Aubrey because she's so young. Yet she knew that Aubrey didn't need either of those things, she just needed a friend by
her side. She just wanted someone who wouldn't treat her differently because she had cancer, so Chloe was going to be that person.

"I'm here for you Aubrey," the ginger said, "If you need anymore rides just let me know."

Aubrey was both surprised and thankful for Chloe's reaction. She was surprised that Chloe didn't make a bigger deal about the situation because the girl had a tendency to be dramatic especially when it came to Aubrey. Although she was thankful that Chloe realized she wasn't looking for sympathy, she just wanted her friend to listen to her. The rest of the ride was silent until they arrived at the apartment. When the girls pulled up in front of the apartment building,
Aubrey turned to Chloe and spoke simply, "Hey Chlo, please don't tell the Bella's. I want to be able to tell them when I'm ready. That means don't tell Beca either." Chloe nodded in
recognition and allowed Aubrey to go into the apartment ahead of her promising she would be up in a minute. Beca was already at the apartment, arriving there ten minutes before the other girls. Chloe watched as Aubrey entered the building and tears began to well up in her eyes. She was never going to admit to Aubrey that she felt sorry for her, but she was. She sat in Aubrey's car sobbing in the silence and trying to wrap her head around what she had learned during their ride home.

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Meanwhile, in the apartment, Beca and Aubrey politely exchanged hellos before Aubrey proceeded to her bedroom. She entered the room, shut the door, and sat down at her desk. She had planned to write her final letter to Stacie Conrad, in case her life was cut short before she had the chance to profess her love to the brunette. The letter read:

Dear Stacie,

Today I received the worst news I could have imagined. I found out today that I have cancer. There's so much that I haven't gotten to do yet, and one of the things that I've wanted for such a long time is to be with you, and now that I have that opportunity, my time is running out. I don't know if I'll get the chance to say this to you before it's too late, but I love you so much. I don't know how bad this is yet, but if my days do become numbered, I would wish that I could live out the rest of my days with you, so I spend my final days with the love of my life.

XOXO,
Aubrey