neighbors

Let her go

"Billie we've been sitting her for 20 minutes, you ever gonna break the silence?" Zoe asked.
I sighed "Sure. Let's see, I fucking hate myself. This whole fucking situation feels like an outta body experience. Like what the fuck was I thinking????" I vented.
Zoe shook her head "I don't know but you should probably figure it out cuz I'm tired of your mopey ass hanging around my apartment all the time" she teased.
"Bro I'm serious" I whined. "What do I do???"
Zoe rolled her eyes "Well first off I don't even how you feel or what you want so enlighten me and then I'll see if I've got any advice worth giving" she explained.
"How I feel is; I wish I never would have met Matthew. I feel like I need to see my shrink again to try and I understand why I did it in the first place and I want things to go back to how they were. I want Blake back, I want Josh back. I want us to be the crazy, weird, off the wall, little boring ass family that we were before I lost my fucking mind."
Zoe sighed "I'm sorry babe. Have you tried to tell Blake all of this?" she asked. I gave her the; that was dumbest fucking question of the year look.
"Damn, sorry. All I can say now is that I would just give her space. You hurt her really bad; maybe even bad enough that it can't be fixed. You gotta let her go Billie. If it's meant to be, it'll happen eventually & she'll come around."
"Not what I wanna hear" I mumbled.
"Truth hurts but I think you already know that."
"I hate when you're right" I rolled my eyes as I tossed a balled up paper towel at her.

3 MONTHS LATER
Yes another time hop I ain't tryin to make a sequel and drag this shit out anymore lol

"Hey little dude, you ready to go home? You got school tomorrow remember?" I asked Josh.
"Okay let me save my game real quick."
"Bet, I'll be in the car okay."
I went out through the garage, opened it up and started my car.
"Fuck" I mumbled to myself rubbing my temples.
"You okay billie???" Josh asked buckling his seat belt. "Oh yeah, I'm always okay. You ready?" I smiled.
I pulled up into Blake's driveway, she found a cute little rental house close to where she works about a month ago. I'm proud of her.
I put the car in park and followed behind Josh as he sprinted to the front door. "Aye man you got your key?" I hollered behind him.
"I forgot it again sorry. I'll just ring the bell!"
He rang the doorbell like 15 times before Blake opened it up in a towel.
"Hey buddy! I'm sorry, I was in the bath. Did you forget your key again?" She asked looking in my direction.
"Yeah sorry he said shortly pushing past her and running to his room.
"Umm we'll see you later okay, I gotta get some clothes on" Blake laughed softly.
"Yeah, okay have a.....good.......ni......"
I felt my tongue trying to push the words outta my mouth but it was like I had a mouth full of peanut butter, then I got super light headed and everything went black. I remember Blake yelling my name faintly but I couldn't get my eyes to open. When I woke up I was lying on her couch with a cold cloth over my forehead.
"Hey, you okay?" Blake asked kneeling next to me.
"Fuck! I'm gonna be sick" was all I could say. Blake darted out of the living room and came back with a trash can right in time for me puke.
"Bils I'm gonna call an ambulance okay. This is not normal" Blake panicked.
"Wait.....Don't do that" I objected breathily.
"Why?" She asked concerned sitting at my feet. I sat up a little kinda caught off guard because she hasn't been this close to me in months.
"I'm pregnant."
"Jesus christ billie" she gasped.
"I know it's insane.....I found out last week, I've just been letting it sink in on top of being sick as shit"
I explained.
"So are you keeping it, does he know?" Blake asked.
"Yeah he knows. But he's already got 2 kids he hardly sees and an ex wife. He was super fucking pissed I ended it with him so he wasn't exactly stoked when I told him I was pregnant, matter of fact he's an even bigger dick now. Said he'll sign his rights over or pay for an abortion as long as he doesn't have to be apart of mine or the kids life." I explained.
"Wow. Sounds like a real winner" Blake said rolling her eyes.
"Yeah well I've always had great taste in men" I replied sarcastically.
Blake got up and went into the kitchen, honestly I'm surprised she hasn't kicked me out yet. I sat the trash can down next to me and cringed at the smell. "Ugh" I whined.
"Here drink this. It's ginger tea, my sister always drank it when she was pregnant and nauseous, maybe it'll help you too."
"Thank you, seriously" I said softly.
"No problem" she smiled grabbing the trash can and taking it away.

Yeah, I really fucked up a good thing with her I thought to myself internally rolling my eyes.

She came back in the living room from the kitchen, sat a plate of crackers next to me and sat back down where my feet were.
"Anyways, I have an appointment to get an abortion tomorrow. I can't fucking wait to not be sick as fuck anymore and put this nightmare behind me."
"I bet, I'm really sorry you're going through this." She sympathized and started to rub my calf.

Blake Catching me off guard today is an understatement but I ain't complaining.

"Thanks B, that means a lot" I half smiled.
"So is he at least going with you tomorrow?"
"Fuck no. I'm going alone. No one else even knows. Annnnd I'd really like to keep it that way.....please." I hinted.
"I get it." Blake empathized.
"What, you've had one?"
"Yep. Me and Roman, one of the many mistakes I made with that man." She explained rolling her eyes.
"Well....Do you want me to go with you? You might not feel that great afterwards, I could drive you home." She explained.
"You're offering to go with me to abort a baby that I conceived while cheating on you???"
Blake cleared her throat and laughed a little. "Well when you put it that way" she teased.
"But seriously, I will if you want me to" she smiled squeezing my feet.
I bit my lip "okay."

"Now how about some mouth wash" Blake teased tossing a pillow at my face.
"Goddamn if you want a kiss all you gotta do is ask" I shouted sarcastically.
"Umm no thank you" She replied rolling her eyes again. "Fine but you can keep rubbing my feet though, it's heavenly" I cheesed.
"You know you're only getting away with this because you're pregnant right?" She half smiled.
"I figured & that's why I'm gonna milk it. But on a serious note, I mean I don't wanna move too fast or ruin whatever miracle this is right now but would you mind if I just crashed here tonight since my appointment is crazy early."
I was scared to watch her facial expressions while I waited for an answer but I couldn't look away. "Umm, sure that's cool. You can sleep on the bottom bunk in Josh's room" she smirked.
I nodded and let out a sigh
"Thanks" I replied.

It wasn't ideal but I was NOT going to fuck this up again even if we just end up being friends.

—
My alarm went off at 5 am and I felt like death.
I got up carefully not wanting to wake up Josh and got in the shower.
"Hey Bil its me. I'm setting a clean towel and some clean clothes of yours that I ended up with on the counter" she overly explained. I poked my head outta the shower and laughed "just ended up with huh?" I smirked.
"Don't start Eilish I feel sorry for you right now, don't make me regret it" Blake laughed as she shut the bathroom door.

"Aye you almost ready?" I asked shoving my phone and keys in pocket.
"Yeah I'm just leaving Josh a note in case I don't get back in time before he leaves for school."
"Ok, ima go start the start the car."