Creation date: 4/8/2021
My spider seems to have left me alone, my personality based on what is gone.
I can't seem to remember the days of gold, where I used to laugh at my own jokes.
Now I'm alone and cold, protecting the things that haven't been stole.
My heart aches when I see your smile knowing the world will want to tear it apart.
My mind races a million miles thinking about a single child.
I want him to keep his smile and that brightness in his eyes, knowing I couldn't keep mine...
Intrusive thoughts began to appear, telling me what would happen to him if-...
I'm drowning in my head, my bed has the marks of where I've slept, remembering me how I decay with every single breathe that I take.
My heart and mind want me to escape but my body is begging me to stay in place knowing that the world hates the people with a different stance.
I wonder if I'll relax, I wonder if I'll survive, because my heart is aching inside, scared to be outside.
The people can't help but stare with their judgemental eyes.
I hear them speaking, I can feel their stares as the criticize my body, mind and soul as I cower, wanting to be home.
My heart has turned into a hole, taking the punches of those who don't know, who don't want to know. My smile devoid of emotion, being a sign of the world's torture.
I still however forgive the world for hurting me in ways most don't know. I smile and laugh through my tears, knowing there'll be times where I'll want to scream.
And I know I can't protect you from all of that, because it'll be part of who you will be, but I can't help but try anyway knowing it is better than being remember as the misfit kid.
You'll go through hell and back knowing our mother, yep, how sad. But remember that big sis will be by your side, remember big sis will love you until the day she dies.
~Word count: 354~
