Creation date: 4/8/2021
I miss my friends, I miss when we played, I miss when we talked about the things we were most interested about.
I miss going out and messing around, joking about how some shit was about to go down.
I miss when they would make me feel better, even if they knew tomorrow's I would be singing the same sad song to the tone of my intrusive thoughts.
I miss talking about our shitty lives, I miss poking them even though they would get mad, knowing they would laugh after a while. I miss sharing the ride, I miss the talks and the laughs shared in the car, while the driver had to take it all.
I miss talking without thinking about if someone my hear. I miss not caring about if someone heard, I miss doing things at my own pace. I miss going to the library and talking to the librarian.
I miss telling her "See you later miss! Hope your day gets better!"
I miss not caring about what I wear or how I look, now I worry about what I'll wear today, how everyone might stare.
I miss a lot of things that maybe you don't wanna hear, but I certainly miss something, and it is when I had to do and care about nothing, to be a kid and enjoy life.
To enjoy the pretty little lies I was told, to enjoy all the laughs and the love. Because once you grow up you're on your own, once you grow is just you against the world.
And I know everything changes, yet my heart is stuck on when I was eleven. And my thought process is simple yet complex leaving me confused and exhausted.
And I feel like my heart might explode while I'm tired because I was running to get home.
And I know that the world isn't filled with mean faces, but I miss the days where home was where I saw familiar faces.
Now familiar faces are often the enemy while an ally is sometimes someone with an unknown identity. Someone that I can talk to without worrying about how I look or what I say because I know that they'll understand.
~Word count: 378~
