After I Saved Eternity (Sequel to Saving Eternity: Jack Gilinsky)

3. Nightmare

Jack is irresistible. There's nothing about him that I don't like. I spend every second of every day craving his touch. Many people say perfect people don't exist. Fuck that. Perfection does exist. In my eyes, Jack is perfect.

Or should I say..

Jack used to be perfect.

But now? With all the fame and his overly excessive ego, he's anything but perfect. I miss the old Jack. I miss the way things used to be. I miss when he was genuine and sincere. I miss when he actually cared about me and respected the way I felt. The Jack I knew then and the Jack I know now are two completely different people. I wanted nothing more than to have the old Jack back, the one that I admired and loved so dearly. The Jack that would always go out of his way to make sure I was happy and felt safe. That Jack. I want that Jack back. 

My friends are constantly persuading me to just cut Jack out, promising me that my life would be so much better without him. They tell me that he doesn't care about me anymore; that I'm wasting my time trying to patch up the holes in our already damaged relationship. 

My excuse to sticking with Jack is simple.

Pain is just a consequence of love.

I spend the majority of my nights alone, in my cold, stiff, bed thinking about the way things used to be and what the future withholds for us. No one deserves to feel the way I feel. No one deserves to feel so alone. No one deserves to be treated so poorly by someone they love most.

No one.

"What's wrong Anna? Why are you so fidgety?" Nate asked, his deep, thunderous voice awoke me from my transcending thoughts, forcing me to step foot back into reality. I looked around the room to find several other students eyeing me down.

I glanced down at the text message from Jack and then back up at Nate. "Oh, nothing, I'm fine." I said half smiling, clicking the power button off and sliding my phone back into my pocket. As hard as it was to ignore Jack's text, I knew that it was the right thing to do.

At least I thought it was.

"Alright, good." He said hesitantly, as if he didn't believe the words that rolled off my tongue. "What're you doing after class?" He asked, his mellow eyes put me in a calming state of serenity.

"Nothing really, I'm probably just going to head home and take a nap. Why?" I questioned his intentions.

"I was just wondering if you wanted to do something, maybe grab lunch?" He smiled, his shaky voice pointed out his hidden nerves.

"Oh Nate.." I sighed. "I don't think it would be smart for us to do that, especially with everything going on between Jack and I, it's just not-"

"Come on lil mama. It'll take your mind off of things. There's nothing wrong with two friends just getting lunch. What do you say?" He leaned in closer, his breath heavy against my pale skin, I impulsively bit my lip.

"Alright, fine." I said with defeat, trying my hardest to resist the urge of smiling, but it was inevitable, Nate just had that effect on people.

Right as the clock striked 11:00am, my professor stood up in the front of the narrow classroom and began lecturing us on the culture and history of Native Americans. I tried my hardest to pay attention to the dragging and what seemed to be never ending presentation, but I couldn't help my mind from pondering other, more relevant, things, like Jack. The more I thought about him, the more of him I desired.

I quickly shrugged the thought of him off, and forced myself to spend the next hour and a half doodling on my blank lined paper, opposed to taking notes.

After what felt like an eternity, my professor finally dismissed us. Eager and ready to get out of class, I swiftly swiped up my belongings that sat on the wooden desk and threw them recklessly into my bag.

"Let me carry that for you." Nate said, grabbing the heavy bag out of my hands and throwing it over his shoulder with complete ease.

"Thanks." I smiled.

"So what're you feeling for lunch? Where do you want to go?" He asked, following me out the door. I felt safe when I was around Nate, it was almost like he was my body guard.

"Do you mind if we just order a pizza? I really don't feel like going out in public. I don't like the idea of the paparazzi potentially seeing us together, it would just result in unnecessary drama and false accusations of us dating." I blurted, he laughed with confidence.

"Whatever you say."

I slid my phone out of my pocket and shuttered at the unread fourty three messages Jack had sent me within the last hour and a half. I shook my head in disbelief upon reading them, his words were filled with anger and frustration. Who even is he anymore? Although I knew in my heart that Jack would never hurt me, I couldn't help but feel just a little bit afraid of him.

"Everything alright?" Nate asked, staring down at my phone with curiosity. I picked my jaw up from off the floor and recollected my spilling emotions.

"Yup." I lied.

In an instant, Nate grabbed my phone from the palm of my hands without difficulties and immediately began to scroll through Jack's recent text messages.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me." He yelled, his voice filled with incredulity, my body winced at his dark voice. "Anna, you have to get out of this relationship. This isn't healthy. This isn't normal. You deserve so much better."

"Don't tell me what to do." I shouted back, the tone of my voice altered.

"You're blind by love, Anna. I don't want to see you get hurt, that's all." He said, placing his hand on my back.

"I don't care. Give me my phone back and go home. I don't want to go to lunch with you anymore." I slapped his hand off of me and forcefully grabbed my phone from his grip and began to sprint home, a barrier of tears broke, blurring my vision.

"Anna, wait!" He hollered from yards behind me, but it was too late. I didn't care what he had to say.

I'm fed up with people telling me what to do.

I am capable of making my own decisions.

I barged into my apartment and sprawled my lifeless self onto the hard couch, letting my emotions take control of my body. My loud weeps caused Lorelai to burst out of her room with panic. "What happened? What's wrong?" She took a seat next to me and began to slowly rub my back, surprisingly assisting in putting my pulsing feelings at ease.

A set of large and aggressive fists pounded on the front door. "I'll get it. Stay right here." Lorelai said, standing up from the couch and making her way to the front door. I watched with apprehension as she cracked open the door and peeked her small head out.

"Let me in." Jack's familiar voice said, causing my frail body to tense up and freeze.

I'm living in a nightmare that I can't seem to wake up from.

A/N: Long time no see :) Hope you all enjoyed this update.. There's plenty more where that came from! As summer approaches, I find myself having more time to write! I'm soon excited to start this book (and my other one) back up again! Until then, have a great day! Stay beautiful! XOXO - Lexie