In Plain Sight (manxman) "Temporarily On Hold"

Chapter 14 I'm Into You

Chapter 14

David

I'm so used to waking up for photo-shoots that even when I'm on a break from work, I still seem to wake up at 6am, only this morning, as I woke up I was quickly reminded of how very different this morning was from any other morning I'd experienced.  The feeling of another person tucked closely around my back with an arm over my waist was definitely unusual for me.  If I said I didn't like it, I'd be lying, big time.  I liked it very much, but it also brought with it a swarm of nerves.

Did he even want me to stay over?  I kind of just fell asleep, maybe he hadn't meant or wanted that to happen.  Sure, we spent the weekend together at his family's home, but that was different.  I was in a guest room and his family was there to keep things from getting uncomfortable.  Even when he came into the guestroom when I couldn't sleep, once I drifted off he must have left because when I woke up in the morning he was gone.  Maybe after spending so many days together he needed a break or space. 

I dreaded those awkward first moments that would invariably happen this morning.  I looked over and Elliott was still sound asleep so I carefully extricated myself from his arm and sat up.  I looked back and he hadn't stirred so I went to use his bathroom.  Once I was finished in there I got dressed and wandered into the living room to pace for a bit and decide what to do.  Do I leave?  Do I stay?

When he woke up we wouldn't have Emma bouncing around making us all laugh, or his mother to converse with, or Blake pouting; it would be just me and him and hell if I knew how to start morning after conversation.  I mean...it was different.  We hadn't had sex, so at least that wouldn't be adding to the awkwardness.

Hell, what am I saying, I rubbed my hands through my hair in frustration.  Didn't I want our relationship to eventually get there...here?  Wasn't that why I'd been pursuing him in the first place, because I like him?  I knew I didn't just want a platonic friendship, but I was so damn edgy and felt unequipped to deal with everything going through my head.

Then I did something really stupid.  I picked up my wallet and keys and left.

I know.  Way to go asshole.  I drove around for about 30 minutes just cursing myself.  I could go back, but I'd have to knock on the door and wake him back up to get in.  I looked at my dashboard, it was only just before 7:00, what if he didn't usually wake up this early. 

By now I felt really foolish, but even more, words like inconsiderate, rude, uncaring, selfish, idiot were all flowing through my mind.  I can't believe I left and didn't even leave a note, after everything he'd done for me; the weekend away, dinner, that massage which was like a spiritual experience in and of itself.  And I just left.  Of course, I couldn't leave a note, he wouldn't see it.

I pulled the car over and banged the steering wheel in frustration.  When I looked up I was in front of an old German bakery I'd passed a few times and always wanted to go into.  There was a picture of a hot steaming cup of coffee in the window and I realized maybe a little caffeine could help me think so I walked in.

There were a few customers ahead of me so I looked around while I waited, taking in all the beautiful pastries in the display case and just the warmth and hominess of the small shop.  When I got up to the front, I greeted the older lady and she smiled at me warmly.  "Vhat can I get for you today, Yung man?"

"Um..."  My mind when blank and I looked around, sighing in frustration.

"Eetz okay, you take your time, eetz a quiet morning."  I looked around and realized I was the only customer now.

"It's just...I don't know.  I don't know what to do." I blurted out.

She looked at me fondly with warm soft, bright blue eyes that looked like they'd seen a lot of the world.  "Maybe I can help, vhy don't you tell me vhat happened?"