Chapter 14

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We accept the love we think we deserve.
~Stephen Chbosky

A/N
This is a long chapter lovies so be prepared.

Also no shocker here since it was already mentioned in the book but Ryder is our Capricorn, December 22 also I'm pretty sure that my ex besties birthday so oops but too late now lol

Hope you like the chapter <3

Chapter 14
Ryder's POV
I fumbled with my tie once more, which clearly wasn't cooperating with me as it knotted up into a bunch like every other time I've attempted.

I let out a frustrated sigh, unknotting the tie and stringing my fingers through my hair. Why is this so difficult? Estrella sat in her spot on my bean bag chair, which she'd claimed as her own, grooming herself and paying no attention to me, fairly used to my outburst today as I was sure this was the hundredth time. Everything was upsetting, even things that normally wouldn't upset me on a usual day, but today was not a usual day.

I gripped onto the edge of the desk, my knuckles turning white.

"Here, I can tie it," Alexia's voice echoed from the doorway.

I glanced back at her. She leaned against the door frame, already dressed in the black dress she'd bought with me and Beatrice.

"I got it," I growled.

She glared at me, probably already knowing this was coming. "Fine. Do it yourself then. I just came to tell you Beatrice will be here soon, so get your attitude in check."

Beatrice. "Why'd you invite her?" What was the point of dragging her along for our freak show?

"Because, I thought it might be nice to have a friend there, since Mateo is banned from the house," she fought me.

Even Mateo knew better than the mess with me today. I'd probably knock his teeth in if he even said one wrong thing. Kavinski though, Kavinski was having a blast, blowing up my phone with childish taunts. "She's just going to be in the way."

"Come on, Ryder, it'll be nice to have someone there." She gave me that same pitiful look I receive from everyone.

"I don't need her there." I don't need her at all.

"We had a blast with her at the fish shack and the dress shop, I'm confident it'll be fine."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm sure you had a blast, telling her every ridiculous thing I've ever done in my life." Alexia didn't need to make it more obvious that she hates me, I was already aware. She didn't need to go and tell Beatrice I was scared of a duck when I was a child.

She scoffed. "I was helping you! Girls like those kinds of things."

"I don't need your help."

"Right." Her brow crinkled like it always would when she was mad at me. "The seconds she finds out how much of a pompous ass you are, she'll leave you in a heartbeat."

Like I care. "Let her leave. This is who I am after all, a pompous ass." It took everything in me not to tear the tie that was resting between my tense fingers.

"If you want her to keep liking you, try not to be such a jerk when she comes over, okay?"

I didn't need my sister to tell me what to do. "Whatever. She doesn't even like me now so what's the point?"

Alexia paused, no witty comeback reeling from her lips. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Exactly what I said." I didn't feel the need to repeat myself. "It's just some stupid game, alright. First one to fall in love loses."

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