Chapter 20

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We don't even ask happiness, just a little less pain.
~Charles Bukowski

Chapter 20
Ryder's POV
27 days, 13 hours and 46 minutes, and not a single word from her.

I groaned, tossing my phone to the side of my bed. Not a single text, we haven't spoken in a month and she hasn't sent a single text. Not one, and I feel like I'm starting to go insane.

Mateo took my phone away, for my own safety, the last two weeks but it was returned to me yesterday as he was leaving for vacation with his mother. I was invited to tag along as usual, but I wasn't in the mood this year. I would have just been a downer and ruined their vacation. But this did leave me alone with my thoughts, and a cellphone, a very dangerous combination.

What if I just texted her once?

My phone pinged beside me. I jumped up, scrambling around to find it, only to be disappointed when Mateo's name flashed on the screen.

The Idiot That Keeps Me From Getting Myself Killed: Flight just landed and don't even think about it.

My face fell. How could he possibly know? He's three hundred miles away.

Me: I have no idea what you're talking about.

The Idiot That Keeps Me From Getting Myself Killed: Don't you dare text Beatrice.

I hate him sometimes. How can he know?

Me: But what if she's waiting for me to text her first?

The Idiot That Keeps Me From Getting Myself Killed: You did text her first, a million times, she ignored all of them. Let her go, man.

I frowned. Like he should be talking? Maria's been a complete jerk to him his whole life and he still thinks he's in love with her.

Me: I'll let her go when you let Maria go.

The Idiot That Keeps Me From Getting Myself Killed: Touché

The Idiot That Keeps Me From Getting Myself Killed: but still don't text her. If you're that desperate, go see her in person. It'll be harder for her to ignore you.

A month, a whole month. It was killing me.

I hit the call button. Mateo answered within seconds. "How ya doin'?" He asked.

"Just great." Note the sarcasm.

"She'll come around eventually."

"Will she? It's been 27 days, Mateo. It takes 21 days to form a habit. 21 days, that's it. She's done with me." I pinched the bridge of my nose, hanging upside down off the side of the couch. 27 days.

"You said she's been hanging out with Alexia recently, right? At least you know she's okay," Mateo tried to comfort me but the statement was not comforting at all.

Alexia had been hanging out with Beatrice everyday. I was happy Beatrice at least had someone during all of this but my goodness, I'm more jealous of Alexia than I should be. I should be the one with her. I should have been the one to hold her hand while she got the staples out. I should have been the one taking her on dates, showing her around the town. It should be me.

But no, it's my sister. My sister gets to spend every waking moment with her because apparently they're suddenly best friends. And I can't be mad about it because I know how much Beatrice wants a friend, but I really need to be mad about something because if I'm not mad I'm just sad and that's a hundred times worse.

It also didn't help that Alexia kept sending me pictures of the two of them. Alexia offered to stop the second she heard the two of us were no longer speaking, but I'd insisted that she not because apparently I liked putting myself through pain and I loved seeing Beatrice, even if it was just in a picture; it was better than nothing.

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