𝐈𝐍 𝐌𝐘 𝐒𝐊𝐈𝐍

𝟖.

❦ yea yea

Karter moved around in her large bed crazily trying to find some comfort in her sleep. She was half-conscious with her eyes closed only aware of her surroundings.

She felt like there were people with megaphones in her room, screaming and shouting at her; commanding her to do things, loudspeakers playing crazy music with screeching and bangs, then the small voices; right in her ear degrading her. They were so quiet but loud at the same time.

Get up! You need to do something with yourself!  You're a weak link, tall and skinny. No! She's fat; tall and fat! A fat weak link!  Boom! Are you gonna lay here forever!? Of course, you are because you are worthless! Meaningless! Why are you alive? Get up! Get up!

Finally, her eyes popped up. Immediately she sat up, she felt cold, but yet so out of breath like she was hot. She took several deep breaths trying to calm down. Her eyes were fixed on the medium-sized Pink Salt Lamp, it was the only source of light in the room.

She pulled the cover off of herself and slid off of the bed. Her eyes were adapted to the darkroom so she made it to her bathroom quickly.

The voices were still there, only this time they were all quiet and demanding her to do things she could when she was awake.

Flicking the light on Karter cringed and squinted as the bright white light came on, illuminating the whole bathroom. Her reflection was cast upon her. She could see her long hair that was frizzy, the small dark red crop top she had on, the band of her underwear, and sweat; a lot of it.

After becoming disgusted with her appearance she looked at the countertop. She leaned on the counter allowing some of her weight to be on it while looking at the pill bottles sitting there.

She didn't take them the night before.

She chuckled dryly, with a slight head shake. "No one's fault but mine." She stood off the counter, turned around, and pulled her glass shower door open, preparing to start the water. She felt disgusting and wanted to get the sweat off of her immediately.

Karter merged her way back into the bathroom while the water from the shower heated up. The bathroom gave some light into the room allowing her to see better than before. She grabbed her phone off her nightstand and clicked the power button awakening the phone. 4:34(A.M). She sighed deeply as she looked at the time, it'd been a while since she'd experienced a night like this, but it definitely wasn't something new to her.

She felt alone again, the longer she scrolled through her phone. Usually, Rhys would be around to ground her. She felt comfortable when he did it. But she wasn't on the best terms with Rhys. She was alone.

_______

Back at her psychiatrist Karter sat on the cold sofa, picking at her hands. Today she had a lot to tell Rae'Gan, just based on the morning she had.