"But you don't know what it's like for me; in my skin; my body; my mind. You don't." She deeply expressed with a heavy sigh, running her hands down her hot face.
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Karter sat with one leg crossed over the other, letting her foot jiggle. She rested back comfortably on the single grey couch in the naturally lit room as she tried to get her thoughts together, staring straight ahead at her phone that was on the small coffee table.
A little ways behind her Rae'Gan moved around her office trying to find her notebook she had for Karter. She had an individual small note pad for each of the patients, she kept them organized nicely; woman and man; and then age classification. She had no idea why she couldn't find it. She moved her hand around her drawer, swiping them around. Finally she saw the purple notepad. KARTER T. Was written in bold black sharpie.
"Okay! I'm sorry Karter. I found it." The woman sighed, before pushing the drawer closed. She lightly tugged on it making sure it was locked and didn't open before walking over to Karter.
"You're fine, I randomly called you so take your time."
"Speaking of, how about we just jump right into this. We have," she paused, lifting her wrist, making her smart watch light up. "Three hours, so take your time. You never told me why you called."
Karter breathed in a deep breath. "I know there's too much on my plate. And I feel like I'm going to explode any minute."
"List those things for me, from most bothersome, or biggest thing to you to least."
Karter bit the skin on her check. To Karter she immediately knew what the biggest issue was but she didn't know how to list the others. "Um, Rhys and I no longer talk—at all. I feel like my schizophrenia is getting worse. I have more hullations, I imagine things more, and it's just all around bad. I've been a hypocrite, I feel like I'm going to drop out of school. And my mom is trying to finally get to know her daughter actually after twenty four years."
Rae'Gan moved her pen quickly, taking down the things Karter listed. "For reference, when's the last time to talk with Rhys?"
"Like three days ago" when Rae'Gan looked up at her she realized the woman was looking for more detail. "It started with ghosting me for some days that I told you about previously. So then I invited him to this movie night I thought I was having with my friend..."
Karter went on to tell Rae'Gan about the whole situation, trying not to skip any details. It was pretty easy for her, being that she hadn't been able to not think about the whole situation for some days. This was her first time ever talking about it in person and honestly it felt great.
For 72+ hours Karter's shoulders felt as if they were carrying an extra 100 pounds. And nothing helped it would go away, until now.
Rae'Gan watched Karter the entire time she told the story and watched Karter closely. Rhys was someone who was very close to Karter's heart—the closest if anything. Karter had shed many tears about things surrounding Rhys over the years, so she expected the tears to be there today. Rae'Gan was wrong, Karter hadn't shed a single tear the whole time.
