Moonbae Oneshots Written Too Early In The Morning

Impossible (Ending 1)

The room was silent aside from the quiet breathing of the two boys. Cars rushing by outside as a gentle zipher flowed through the air. Kevin's eyes were closed but his mind danced around, ears pricking at even the slightest movement from the other male who sat motionless upon the edge of his bed.

Kevin risked a peak, opening his eyes slightly to squint at his friend's figure, broad shoulders clearly outlined to create the familiar silhouette. Kevin let his hand glide away from his face, off the plush pillow onto the mattress, inches from where Jacob sat.

"Can I hold your hand?" he whispered, watching as Jacob jumped a little, whipping his head to look down at Kevin's now open eyed but still sleepy face. With his eyes now fully open, Kevin could make out the warm cacao of his friends eyes, an inviting light amber now milky hot chocolate in the moonlight. Kevin could see the crinkles that started to crease around his face and white bunny teeth forming a cozy smile.

"Sure," he whispered back, softer than Kevin's.

Kevin could feel a shock of heat travel his body, the warmth of calloused hands embracing his, sharing that same feeling of home together. Letting their bodies relax, the two friends found their fingers locking together, intertwined with one another in an impenetrable bond.

And as that happened they sat in comfortable silence, letting the sounds of the city come through the window as the single clock ticked with their breathing. Soft inhales and exhales that were a lullaby, enough to send Jacob to sleep.

Till Kevin croaked quietly, "Jacob?" Jacob only hummed in acknowledgement. "Remember when I told you." Kevin paused for a moment, not believing what he was about to say. "That I liked you?"

"Yeah," Jacob answered, not finding the memory displeasurable or laughable, just a random story he was a part of.

"Well, looking back, I don't think I actually liked you." Kevin became more aware of his breathing, taking deeper breaths with each sentence. "Even at the moment, I kind of knew it wasn't romantic."

Jacob continued to rub his thumb against Kevin's hand without a word.

"But as time passed." Kevin closed his eyes only for a second. "I think those feelings I felt then grew. They were never romantic and I still don't think this is what people call love." Jacob's hand still held Kevin's but it quit the comforting movement, making Kevin panic a little. "I told you I was ok with the label aromantic, but after telling you, I dug further and I think I found a better label, still not quite right but better."

"What's that?" Jacob's voice came hoarse, there was no emotion to the question and Kevin wasn't sure how to respond from shock.

"It's not quite a label for my orientation but a label for the relationship I want." Jacob didn't move or say another word, queuing Kevin to keep going. "Queerplatonic relationship, that's the kind I want."

"Oh?"

"I don't quite get the label but from what I've read, it feels right. Not quite romantic but not really a friendship, somewhere in between."

Kevin saw Jacob flash a tired smile as he spoke. "I'm glad you've found a label you like Kev."

"Same . . . but." Jacob's smile morphed to a quizzical look, squeezing Kevin's hand gently for reassurance. "The only reason I came to this conclusion was." Swallowing a large lump Kevin let it out. "Because of you." The warm hand that held his left, going into the owner's lap as Kevin drew his hand back.

"I-"

"I know you're seeing someone, and I wish you both well, because your happiness is one of my top priorities. I didn't really expect to tell you." Kevin chuckled. "But I guess now just felt like the right time." With a sad smile Kevin flipped himself around to face the wall, back now turned to a confused Jacob. Kevin screwed his eyes shut, hand against his palpitating heart, the worry not quite going away, unaware of the shifting behind him. Jacob hovered a hand to Kevin's back but that's all it did, hover, pushing and pulling, unsteady and wary of their next move.

"Kev," it came out choked. "Kevin?"

"Yeah?"

For the first time in forever, the silence was awkward.

"I-"

"You don't need to say anything, I'm going to go to sleep now." Kevin pulled the blanket over himself a little more, making a fuss to shuffle and 'get comfortable.'

"Oh." Jacob drew his hand back and slowly started to rise. Kevin could feel as the bed started to rise as well, the warm presence now gone to leave his back open to the cold though a blanket laid upon him tightly. He could hear the creak and soft grunt as Jacob lifted himself off, the ticking of the clock seeming louder than before, constantly ticking away, louder by the second. The scent of lavender shampoo slowly fading away. "Goodnight then."

His footsteps were like a thunderstorm, rattling the glasses on Kevin's nightstand, the creaks groaning ear piercingly.

Then it stopped.

Time sitting still.

The clock, the footsteps, the floorboards, cars, Kevin's own heart . . .

It all stopped.

Only Kevin's erratic breathing could be heard.

The door quietly squeaked, and a click from the lock rang.

Kevin bit his lip before chuckling, too tired, and weak to bother for a tissue.

Rapid blinks ceased eventually.

The erratic breathing stopped eventually.

Kevin didn't know when.

But he fell asleep . . .

Eventually.