thirteen

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one of the first signs of the beginning of
understanding is the wish to die.
-franz kafka

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a helpless groan escaped from soobin's mouth, feeling the dull ache in his head turning into a throbbing sensation. pain made him grasp the bedsheet tightly as if his life depended on it. his eyes fluttered open, watching the surroundings swirling crazily while slowly recalling all the tragic events of his life to comphrend everything. finally waking up with a gasp, he threw back the covers and put his feet on the ground only to stumble down.

he hastily limped to all the rooms, hoping for yeonjun but to his disappointment, it was just himself in the so called home.

how could i sleep? he grunted, remembering the way he believed in yeonjun and accepted a pill before falling asleep in his arms. he looked at the wall where a fancy wall clock used to be hung but found nothing, then he searched for the calender which was missing as well. undoubtedly, yeonjun took them away to keep soobin more distorted.

his neck strain and exhaustion told him that he had slept more than a day, but how how long exactly?

he was, one more time, seized with impuissant anger and hatred not for yeonjun but all for himself. he couldn't blame yeonjun since he is well aware of the fact that psychopaths like him are born without moral compass and emotions but that doesn't mean he won't unravel the truth just because he loves yeonjun.

spotting a yellow note swinging on the refrigerator door which is being slightly pushed by a refrigerator magnet clip, he slipped it to read the very well-known handwriting.

there are foods in fridge, warm them before eating. don't cry too much, trust me. i love you.

soobin sighed. he knew he needed to do something, all for yeonjun. he didn't have to think twice to get out of here and contact taehyun but when he tried to unlock the main door, it was obviously locked. he tried to unlock it with the password but it said incorrect, yeonjun definitely changed it. so he kept throwing his fists and banging the door in despair, clenching hit bottom lip between his teeth, being frightened. until his knuckles started bleeding and his voice cracking because of shouting yeonjun's name over and over again, expecting yeonjun to hear him.

after a while, he gave up wasting his energy as yeonjun wasn't even there in the first place.

my dad wasn't the only one, eight innocent lives had faced injustice and cruelty to death. i can't just cry and watch. he might keep preying on more lives....he is a fucking predator who might as well end me soon. i mustn't waste my time.

sliding the window, soobin glanced at the sky. although the air was fresh, it couldn't manage to be anywhere near comforting to soobin. sun was sinking toward the horizon, draining golden rays away within time. soobin recognised the sky- it's surely late evening. sooner than he expected, the shadows started retreating and he had a gut feeling that someone would be dying tonight.

no way I can jump from seventh floor to prevent murders- soobin sighed again. he already has a plan by now but clearly, he can't execute it when he is trapped like this.

thankfully his fate supported him for the first time in his life as another idea popped into his head, however, it was quite unreliable and risky but even so he went for it since he had no other choices.

nor he had much time to determine himself more as he had to pull this off before the shadows could deepen otherwise he might tumble down and die in this city of misfortunes.

carefully putting right leg outside of the window, his feet touched the precast concrete window sill. he sighed in relief, throwing his other feet outside of the concrete slab under the window, now moving his body to cling to the long pipe on exterior wall. he carefully crawled down until a huge balcony of fifth floor congratulated him.

do or die- he inhaled a deep breath before letting himself go from the pipe, hoping that he could push his upper body inside and land on the balcony somehow but it went all wrong as he his posture made a little mistake for which he couldn't roll in and ended up falling.

thankfully his fate worked for him once again as his hands tightly gripped the balustrade of the balcony, now all he needed was to pull his whole body upwards but were his hands alone enough to pull himself up? hanging on the air, his muscles tightened and his hands were almost done bearing all his weight. he shut his eyes and cried out, not feeling any slabs under his feet.

rip to my youth- his hands were to give up but luckily a voice called his name, running to him.

"sooobin????!!!? the hell you are doing there?" she shouted in disbelief.

"help me out." soobin shouted back as she quickly hurried up to rescue him by pulling him with all her force, obviously soobin, too, had to put force on pulling himself up.

"thank you so much, yeji." he panted, trying to catch his racing breaths.

soobin has been always nice and kind to everyone around him so it wasn't unusual for his neighbours to lend him a hand from time to time when needed. the girl who lives on fifth floor's apartment named yeji with her parents, they are always humble and friendly as neighbours.

"you don't look fine...what's wrong? why were you hanging there? are you sick? did you accidentally yeet yourself from the window or what?"

staying here for too long might put their lives in danger. soobin thought before looking at yeji who was evidently concerned and panicked.

"can i borrow your phone for a while? please?" he pleaded, yeji blinked her cat eyes in confusion before nodding and saying, "come inside."

so did soobin. he waited for her to lend him another phone which she didn't use much. to his gladness, yeji didn't take much time on that.

"i'll be always grateful to you." soobin showed his thankfulness, taking the phone and hurrily getting out of their home through the door, leaving a confused yeji behind who received no answer of any questions but she didn't mind, probably understanding it's something urgent.

here arrived another problem. he had to contact taehyun but how could he when he didn't remember anyone's contact numbers other than yeonjun and one person whom he would trust with his life. that contact number was easy to keep in mind so now he dialed the number, holding the phone against his ear. in the meantime, he got out of the building and hid himself away from there under the open sky.

all he knew was he had to do something for the sake of humanity and yeonjun.

and the person on the other side received the call, speaking, "hello?"

"it's m-me, soobin."

-

"soobin? wait how-"

"if you don't show up at rooftop now, i swear i won't hesitate to commit suicide."








(A/N): #1 in sociopath omg whatttttt agkshj

Tysm
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