Notes:
CAH stands for Cards Against Humanity
Bold-black cards
Italics-white cards
Normal-extra saying
Also, look up at the video above to see them lol
Let's get this started!
Russia: What's the most emo? Being a dinosaur. *dinosaur noises* LET'S GOOOOO
Canada: And the academy award for teaching a robot to love goes to... Stephen Hawking talking dirty.
(Yea, I can't translate computer, so, sorry ;-;)
France: The "B" in LGBT stands for...bees?
Hungary: Spectacular abs + Self-loathing = Another goddamn vampire movie.
Ame: Having problems with all your/my friends dying? Try screaming like a maniac! (It's-it's Attack on Titan. Get it?!)
Belarus: Hey baby, come back to my place and I'll show you my first kill.
Aussie: Lovin' you is easy 'cause you're my good brauh~
Ame: Chainsaws for hands. High five, brouh!
Kiwi: Lifetime presents going on an epic adventure and learning a valuable lesson about friendship, the story of Gandalf.
Swiss: Just saw this upsetting video! Please retweet!! #stopinappropriateyodeling *yodels*
Spain: That's right, I killed geese. How you ask? A murder most fowl.
GE: The blind date was going horribly until we discovered our shared interest in not contributing to society in any meaningful way. It was awesome
England: Oohhh I'm sorry, Professor, but I couldn't complete my homework because of poor life choices.
France: What do I have rotting away in a storage unit? Susan, that bitch.
Oklahoma: I got 99 problems but drinking responsibly ain't one.
Wales: This is the prime of my life. I'm young, hot, and full of indescribable loneliness. *cries*
JE: James is a lonely boy. But when he discovers a secret door in his attic, he meets a magical new friend: my worthless son.
New York: I may not be much to look at, but I fuck like the government.
Germany: In the seventh circle of Hell, sinners must endure Mufasa's death scene for all eternity.
China: Hey baby, come back to my place and I'll show you...a PowerPoint presentation.
Iceland: Next from J.K. Rowling: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Dead Parents.
Cali: What's there a ton of in Heaven? David Bowie flying in on a tiger made of lightning! (R.I.P.)
England: In a world ravaged by getting abducted by Peter Pan, our only solace is the pirate's life! Keep that boy away from me booty! I mean the treasure, not the-
Japan: Only two things in life are certain: death and liking big butts and not being able to lie about it.
New York: Mom's to-do list:
• Buy groceries
• Clean up who really did 9/11
• Soccer practice...?
That's a weird one
Scotland: What brought the orgy to a grinding halt? Eating together like a GOD DAMN family for once.
Poland: Oprah's book of the month is "Alcoholism For a Bunch of Idiots Playing a Card Game Instead of Interacting Like Normal Humans! A Story of Hope"
Turkey: I never understood daddy issues until I encountered Loki, the trickster god. He's...full of them
Ame: Tonight, we have the million dollar question. The question that transcends all time, space, and even life itself. And that is: What gets better with age? Bill Nye the Science Guy!
Maine:
Step 1: Self-loathing.
Step 2: A live studio audience!
Step 3: Profit.
North Carolina: War! UH!
What is it good for?
Texas: NOT A DAMN THING!
Ukraine: Why do I hurt all over? *cries* Emotions.
Portugal: Hey, don't worry, kid. It gets better. I've been living with generally having no idea what's going on for 20 years. Heh, look at me!
Cali: One trillion dollars + Vigilante justice = BATMAN!!!
Ame: Why am I broke? Bitches. I-uh...well I mean, you're not wrong...
Mississippi: A recent laboratory study shows that undergraduates have 50% less sex after being exposed to The World of Warcraft.
Florida: TSA guidelines now prohibit whining like a little bitch, on airplanes.
OE: "You have my sword."
"And you have my bow."
"And mY FIRM BUTTOCKS!"
Germany: And in the end, the dragon was not evil; he just wanted dem titties!
EU: What's fun until it gets weird? The entire internet. help me-
France: Just once, I'd like to hear you say "Thanks Mom. Thanks for a decent fuCKING internet connection!"
Brazil: ABC presents
"Kanye West! The Story of Poor Life Choices."
Belgium: In the beginning, there was Nickleback. And the Lord said, "Let there be silence."
Soviet: What did Vin Diesel eat for dinner? Meatloaf, THE MAN.
Luxembourg: Puberty is a time of change. You might notice hair growing in new places. You might develop an interest in *gets out light saber* the power of the Dark Side. This is normal.
That's it for now. Cya later, bitches
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Countryhumans Zodiacs (long updates?)
HumorNOTICE: We do not need anymore comments saying "that's racist". This book is not meant to be racist or offensive, and I do NOT support Nazism/Fascism, Communism, etc. This is all for fun Hello and welcome to H̶e̶l̶l̶ my 2nd book! I'm your "host", C...
