You're My Best Friend

His best friend

BUCKY's POV
1514 words

I guess he was too dumb, and I guess he was too blind? I guess we were not meant to be then? Because if we were, he wouldn't had left like he did. He wouldn't had left at all. And ever since he did leave.. I have tried my hardest to move on.

But I have realized that you never really move on from your first love. Yeah, you heard right. Steve was my first love. I may not have admitted it right away but in the end, I did. But then it was too late.

Now I'm sitting alone in my apartment on the floor, because I haven't had the strength to move up to the couch- I hear something ringing but I'm too stuck in my own thoughts to care.

How am I suppose to be remotely okay without him? Without my Steve. How could I? He was the one who kept me alive for all those years of torture and brainwashing. He was the thought in the back of my head that I kept holding onto when I didn't had anything else left in life.

What is he now? He is a memory. That is what he is. Nothing more, nothing else. It is like he never were in my life to begin with. He is a part of my past now, like he never were a part of my present or even my future.

"Bucky?"

No. I can't keep doing this. Not again. I can't keep thinking about Steve like this. He left me, not the other way around. But did he leave because of me? Was I the reason?

"Bucky?!"

He will not come back, for me or anyone or anything because once again, he has found the love of his life and this time I think it is real. Because he left months ago and he has not come back ever since.

I know for a fact that my feelings for Steve are not as strong as they used to be and I am over him. Or so I keep telling myself.

"Bucky, can you hear me?"

I snap my head towards the voice, echoing through the one-single-room-apartment. My eyes lands on the apartment door laying on the floor, broken in several pieces, and then to Sam, standing beside it, or as I also know him as: Steve's best friend.

Sam hated me and I hated Sam and I don't think either of us have a good enough reason for why. But the truth is, ever since Steve left, Sam and I have started to tolerate and almost enjoy each other's presence on missions. Believe me when I say, it took time and a lot of effort but I have to admit; he is not horrible.