Shmex with Shrek

Dont get in Shreks swamp

Y/n POV

I was walking around in a forest looking for an ogre. Most people are afraid of ogres, they hate them, but me? no. i find them hot...yes i know, thats weird, but once i see an ogre, i cant control myself. theyre just so green and big. I wish i had an ogre at my house to have fun with if yk what i mean.  Right as i tought that i bumped into a tree making me look up, i had bumped into tree near a little cabin and a swamp. Looks like an ogre lives here, YUM ! i love a delicious ogre.

 3rd person POV

as Y/n was walking towards the house she heard an ogre singing, such a turn on. So she quickly stripped and flew into the deicious swamp. She sniffed he swamp making her roll her eyes to the back of her head. just then Shrek came out in his shrexy swimsuit that made him look very shrexy. "HEY, GET OUT OF ME SWAMP" he screamed as he saw the scrumprious human in his delicious swamp. Y/n loked over to the pulchritudinous ogre and instantly came. Shrek watched as her eyes rolled to the back of her tasty head. Y/n started wheezing from the feeling of her swamp juice coming out. hrek ran over to her and licked her hair, "you taste so exquisite " he said and started munching on her hair. "please shove your worm in my swamp you scrumptious ogre"she begged 

Shrek POV

i heard the magnificent human beg for my 69 inch worm. But it got in MY swamp, i wasnt gonna give it to it so easily. "your beauteous chamber of secrets has to wait for invading MY swamp" i heard the human let out a fart and thats when i couldnt take it anymore. i grabbed it by its nipple and bent it over the edge of the swamp. It was covered in my delicous mud, i had to save some so i squeezed it until she was as clean as donkeys teeth. "oppar youre hurting me-" i heard it oink, "shut up you uncivil human being" i told it. I took my 69 inch trouser snake  and teased its chamber, "iyyyyyaaaughh" it moaned. i shoved in it making it yelp out loud. My trouser snake started dancing like James Charles inside of its penis fly trap causing me to yeet my shiny head back. i started doing the renagade inside of it and i felt it clench witch made me let my frosting out. "SHRADDY" i heard the human being yell not so soon before it glazed my wifes best friend. i pulled my long meat out and threw the human back in the swamp. "that will teach you discourteous creature" i said and headed back inside.

A/N 

Hey yall shrexy girls gays and nonbinary baes, if you could comment vote and follow i would be extremely happy for obvious reasons, this is the very first thing ive ever written incase you couldnt tell aready. Again, im writing this as a joke so i dont expect any reads. if you just happened to be reading this can you request something cuz my mind does not work at all. Kay yall, stay shrexy and horny ily X

-Mel the cow

569 words incase anyone wondered