𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒 𝐧/𝐍~

~𝙎𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙢𝙚~

Saturday
14/08/21
6:50 p.m

words, words aren't merely enough to describe how loud my heart is crying the void inside my heart will never get filled. the voices inside my head trying to take the little bit of hope i have in me away keep becoming louder, is there an end to this? there is always an end to happiness but is there an end to pain? one can only hope. how can i express my emotions if i cannot seem to understand them myself? i'm trapped inside my own mind and i can't seem to escape. this feeling of helplessness is eating me up. will i ever get out of this place? why do i feel so alone in a room full of people? i spend my days sleeping to escape the reality i'm so scared to face. sleep also doesn't feel like a complete escape, pain keeps following me everywhere i go. nightmares every night. i long the day i have a happy dream. what is happening? why is this happening to me? all i've ever wanted for people is their happiness, their well being, always cared for them and this is what i get in return? why does it happen to the nicest of people? how can i ever trust people if all they do is give me reasons not to? i feel so alone, i have no one i trust, no one i can talk to, no one i can go to when i'm crying, i'm broken, and i do not know how to fix myself. i cannot seem to talk to anyone, in the fear that if i get attached they will leave me seeing how vulnerable and sad i am. everyone eventually leaves, no matter how many promises they make. i have fallen into a dark place and i cannot manage to get out, it is killing me inside, i don't know how much longer i can hold on. my emotions are messed up. i cannot comprehend what is happening. will i get better? does it ever get better? only time can tell. till then i'll hold on to the little ray of hope i have left in my life. i wish i could explain how i'm feeling, but words are not enough. they are merely futile devices not enough to express how i feel nor do i know how to express my emotions in the form of words.

~ save me from this pain.