It's always been you (Shelby and Toni story)

Part 43

Shelby pov

"So? Toni seems kinda tomboyish, don't ya think?" My dad asked

He caught me off guard

"I mean I noticed she isn't really much of a girly girly, why do ya ask?" I asked

"I don't know, do you really think she's a good influence to be around?" He asked

My heart dropped at that, I really don't want him to tell me he don't want me hanging with Toni

"What do you mean daddy? I think she's really nice, and funny" I responded

"Okay, but considering what happen with Becca, do you think it's a good idea for you to be around a girl like her?" He asked

Why did you have to bring Becca up daddy? Why do you have to always bring her up? Why can't you just let her rest in piece?

"Toni's not Becca" I responded

"I know that sweetheart, but do you want another one those incidents?" He asked one eyebrow raised

"Daddy why do you have to always bring up Becca? I asked

I can tell that question got him upset, but I don't care I really want to know the answer to that, that's part of the reason I can't forgive myself for her death because he always bring her up which makes me feel guilty

"Because you know what happened with her, and I just want to remind you so you don't have to go through that again" he responded

"I'm not daddy, that won't happen with me and Toni" I spoke

"And how can you be sure?" He asked

I got quiet for a few seconds, and swallowed my spit, I know what I'm about to say will change everything, and I may even lose everything, but it's eating me up not to say it

"Because me and Toni is in love with eachother, with Becca I was the only one in love that's how I'm sure" I spoke trying to make my voice sound calm but it wasn't working

"Shelby you don't know what you're saying" he spoke

"I do know what I'm saying daddy, I am in love with Toni Shalifoe, and she's a girl, I've known I liked her as soon as I laid eyes on her, I knew I liked girls since me and Becca became best friends since we was 10, I just ignored, but Toni is this... fiery, passionate, beautiful, amazing, wonderful girl and I-

"Shelby I suggest you stop right there while you are ahead of yourself" my daddy said his face emotionless

"I'm not done, anyways, I'm really deeply in love with this girl, and I see myself with her in the future, when I'm around her I don't know I just feel loved, safe, free, I've never felt this way for anyone in my life, not even Becca" I started to cry but I had to keep going

"And it makes me so sad to have to disappoint you and not be the perfect daughter you always wanted, and it makes me so sad that you can't love me for me... cause daddy I'm really tired of living this life, daddy I'm so miserable, I'm tired of pretending, I just want to be happy and she does that for me, do you not want me to be happy?" I asked tears now streaming down my face

"I do Shelby, I've told you I just don't want you to be alone" he replied

"I'm not daddy, when I'm with her I don't feel alone, I've got her, and all my other friends who love me for the real me, daddy you don't even know the real me, I didn't even know the real me... it took me 17 years to finally find myself, and I want to be myself, not who you want me to be because that's not me" I spoke

My mom walked in

"Can y'all help me with the groceries- she stop and stared at us "what happen?" She asked

"Go on, tell your mother" he said clenching his jaws

I faced my mom

"Mommy I would love to help with the groceries, but I'm really upset right now, so I think I'm going to go to my girlfriend's house" I said before walking past her

Before I walked out I turned to face my dad, he had a disappointed look on his face and he was shaking his head at me

"I really wish you can love me for who I am, because I'm going to be myself now, and I really want my daddy in my life still... but if you don't want to be in my life that's fine, just know I still love you" I said before finally walking out

Toni pov

I heard loud knocking on the door and it's too late at night so I'm wondering who could be here at this time of night

Once I opened the door I meet with my girlfriend, puffy red eyes while tears still rolling down her cheeks

"Baby" I spoke softly

She hugged me tight while crying on my shoulder

"It's ok... I got you... your okay" I whispered softly in her ears

I grabbed her thighs lifting her causing her to wrap her legs around my waist, I closed the door and took her to my room

I laid her on the bed

"Baby did you already take a shower?" I asked

She nodded softly

"Uh do you want some water?" I asked

She shook her head

"Is there anything I can get you? What do you want?" I asked

"Hold me" I barely heard her

I nodded and climbed in bed

She got on top of me, her head on my chest, her arms around my waist, our legs tangled up

I kissed the top of her head squeezing her tight whispering 'you're beautiful', 'I love you', 'I got you', and 'it's okay' to her all night until she fell asleep

I don't know what happen and what got her so upset, but if she here at this time of night crying like this then it must be serious