Selina's Sidekick

part nineteen

this chapter may seem like a filler, but it is very important. very. important. 

Their new 'roommates', Jason decided, were not as bad as their first introductions made them off to be. 

Psychotic? Absolutely.

Terrible house guests? Eh, Jason's had worse. 

His only real complaint was their complete lack of boundaries when it came to him talking with Selina. And even then, Harley did offer some sound advice...sometimes.

Currently, he and his mom were perched on the roof to escape the two lovers in their apartment, cups of coffee in each of their hands as they stared at the sun rise. 

Selina was shocked to see Jason willingly up before dawn, however, she hid her shock well and just led him to the roof, knowing he needed some bonding time with her. She sipped her hot beverage as Jason went on another tangent about the obnoxious kids at his school, knowing full well where it was going to end up. 

Surprising Selina yet again that morning, the conversation topic switched slightly. "Hey, mom?" She hummed to let him know she was listening. He gave her a devilish smile, and honestly, that should've been her first clue that something was up. "Is it true that older men are better than those your own age?"

Selina choked on her coffee, sputtering as she turned to her son. "W-what?"

Jason shrugged. "I mean, Tim is a bumbling moron who can't pick up the very freaking obvious loaf sized bread crumbs I'm leaving him - you know, for a bird themed vigilante, he sure sucks at being a bird - and 'sides, isn't he supposed to be a detective? How has he not picked up that I like him?" 

"What...what does that have to do with older men?" Selina asked, scared to know the answer.

"Oh! Everything, actually. See, I keep teasing him, saying that I'll go after his hot older brother, Dick, you know, the one I robbed? And he keeps yelling at me not to, saying stuff about age and blah blah blah. So, I was wondering, since...you know, you like Bruce Wayne - who definitely is not Batman wink wink - and he is older than you...are older men better than those your own age? Should I actually go after Dick?"

Selina opened her mouth to give a very wise response when the door to the roof banged opened, making the two thieves turn to see the one and only Harley Quinn standing there in a towel. "No, kiddo, you don't go for older men. Take it from me - ya know, the dame who was in a toxic relationship with an older man freshly out of schooling and all." She walked closer, squatting down next to Jason. "Go for a lady, they're nicer and will be more understanding of the very obvious emerging b - "

"That's enough, Harley." Selina shooed her friend away. 

Harley shrugged. "I'm just saying, not just as a friend, but as a doctor, ya know. Might be in his better health to get him seen, Selina." 

With that, the woman walked back inside, leaving Selina to sit with her son as the sun rose over the horizon. Jason cleared his throat. "Putting  a pin in the conversation about my mental health for now...what do I do about Drake and Grayson?"

Selina chuckled. "Kitten, you know what to do. You're just afraid of the truth." Jason furrowed his brow and his mom sighed. "Grayson isn't a contender, hun."

Jason huffed, nodding at the sun. "I should probably get ready for school."

He stood up, helping Selina up as well and the duo made their way inside, their coffees cooled off and forgotten about. 

Upon entering their apartment, Jason nearly tripped over a vine. He bit back a groan as he saw Poison Ivy glaring at him. Apologizing half heartedly, Jason found his way through the new jungle to his room, pulling his clothes on and snatching his bag before running back to the living room to see Selina hissing lowly at Harley. 

Walking up behind them, he tapped Selina on the back and she whirled around, her expression softening when she saw Jason ready for school. She brought him into a hug, kissing his hair as he pulled out of the embrace. "Have fun at school, sweetie."

"Good luck with lover boy!" Harley called. 

Jason gave the three Sirens a two fingered salute as he walked out of the apartment, closing the door behind him. With a sigh, the teen set out for school, not noticing the tail that was sticking to the shadows as he went about his journey. 

If he had turned back even once, perhaps it all could've been avoided. 

While Jason was without a doubt teasing Tim before the start of the school day, Selina was glaring at her clownish friend, arms crossed over her chest. Harley shrugged, her lips pursed and her eyes half shut in a devil may care way. "Look, Selina, I don't see what the big deal is."

"You don't?" Selina chuckled humorlessly. "You have been psychoanalyzing my son, Harleen!"

"It's a habit, what can I say?" Harley blew a bubble with the gum in her mouth. "I do it with everyone, right, red?"

"She has a point, Selina, Harley does psychoanalyze everyone. It is her way of self-soothing." Ivy hummed. "Besides, I don't see why you're so upset. Harls just gave you a heads up that your son may possibly have - "

"I know! I know." Selina groaned. 

Harley sighed, wrapping an arm around the feline themed member of their crew. "Look, Selina, it ain't as bad as you're making it out to be. Mental illness...it ain't a failure of character or a reflection of your specific parenting. It may be a chemical imbalance or the fact that his entire childhood, up until he meet you, was spent with an absentee father and a druggie mother, scrounging for scraps and begging to survive. It is probably a combination of all the above. But, Selina, you saved him. You took him in, a little stray kitty, and you showed him true love. Now, is that gonna fix the mess of his brain? No, but it is a good foundation."

Selina shot Harley a glare, one with  no bite. "I'd really prefer if you didn't refer to my son's brain as a mess."

Harley shrugged once more. "It is what it is, right?"

The infamous Catwoman deflated, looking utterly vulnerable with two of her only friends. "I just...what do I do? How can I help him?"

"Sweets, you start by getting him a good doctor, maybe a therapist." 

Selina smiled at Harley. "Thanks, Harley. Sorry I snapped at you."

She waved the woman off. "Eh, water under the bridge. Now, what're we going to do while your little stray is at school? Ooh, can we rob a bank? Haven't done that in a minute."

Laughing, the other two Sirens looked at their psychotic companion. "We'll think about it. For now, how about breakfast?"