Betrayal Is My End

Chapter 11

Tsu

Pain. Why is it always pain? My body ached and I felt a burning in my chest. I grimaced but didn't open my eyes, where am I? I tried to search my memories but nothing came forward. I heard a slam and felt as my body shook from it, and that's when they flew open. I felt my head swim as I looked around feeling confused. I frowned as I saw my bedroom.
Not my bedroom at the base but my bedroom from my 'home.' What? I thought I- left? The banging continued and I felt my heart race. I left here, didn't I? Everything was the same. Just as it always had been.
The simple bed, the vanity against the wall, covered in different foundation bottles, makeup brushes were everywhere. I heard low voices coming from down the hall and that's when I moved, my body ached horribly, protesting every move I made, especially my chest. I reached down by my bed and grabbed the first-aid kit I kept there. As I did, my sleeve rode up and I saw my arm, I gasped in shock and felt my chest ache, ah broken ribs.
I grimaced and sat there for a moment catching my breath, I looked at my arm now and saw the bruising wrapped around it. Four perfect fingers and a fifth one just over a ways for the thumb. What did I do? I don't remember getting these? Not to mention, all the scars that lined it underneath the bruises. I chewed my lip as I stared at the fresh ones and the felt the stinging sensation in my arm as the skin pulled.
I felt slightly disconnected from my own self, the pain was there- the stinging sensation of a new cut. Only, when I looked at my arm again it was gone. I frowned, feeling my brows knit together in confusion. The pain I had been feeling was gone, other than an ache in my chest. That's when I realized something, I was watching myself. I gasped softly as I- the other me- stood and grimaced in pain wiping at her- my?- eyes.
Slowly, I walked to the bathroom connected to my room and when I switched the light on. I followed the other me and when I looked, I couldn't help the shock I felt as my eyes found my reflection.
My eye was black, my cheek was swollen with an ugly bruise forming on the left side of my face down to my jaw. I was in a tank top and yoga pants, I had bruises on my neck in the shape of hand prints, and cuts on my arms. Slowly, I watched as she started mixing foundations and blending them to cover the worst of the bruises on my face, neck, and arms. When the other me came to my collarbone I saw something strange.
What the- I leaned forward, closer to her neck and examined them.
On either side of my collarbones was a perfect bite mark. What the, I raised my hand to touch them and, as my fingers brushed the marks, I saw a flash of red hair, green eyes.
When I touched the other side, I saw a flash of black spiky hair, and blue eyes. The warm scent of caramel and cinnamon enveloped me along with the sweet, soft scent of vanilla and sugar.
My mind swam and tears filled my eyes, who- I was cut off though, by my door banging open, hitting the wall. I felt empty, but it was clear from the gasp that wasn't true for the other me.
I closed my eyes and chewed my lip before turning and looking to her, she was breathing heavily now, and looked like her heart raced. I watched as her body shook, and I saw the blood drain from my face, "f-father, I- I was just-" I didn't get to finish my sentence.
I frowned as I watched her- myself- beg and grovel at his feet. Just as I opened my mouth to speak, he moved. Quick as a whip, his hand snaked out and cracked past me across the left side of my face. I watched as she cried out and fell holding my face, "daddy I'm- I'm sorry," I sobbed. When in doubt, cry. Beg for forgiveness, it worked once, i thought uncharitably.
I watched sadly as the tears fell readily now and didn't show any sign of stopping.
"You think this makes me feel anything? Any bit of sympathy?" He asked, his voice booming and filled with barely tempered rage. A small sob escaped me again and I felt his boot come up and kick me in the ribs. "I never even wanted you. You were a mistake from the beginning. You're nothing to me and were nothing to me then. Your mother wouldn't get rid of you no matter how much I asked, and when you showed signs of powers, I knew you were even worse than a mistake."
I sobbed again just as he kicked, I'd heard the words before but never this in depth. "I wish that you would just die. No matter how much I do to you, you're always left alive. Disgusting," he spat at me now, before the kicking resumed. The air went out from my lungs and I rolled into the fetal position. My body shook with sobs as I laid there waiting for the worst of the beating to be over. He'll grow tired with kicking soon, I'm almost done. Then I can retouch the makeup.
The thought scraped across my mind and I grimaced at it, Jesus, I was so broken. I remember thinking this though, it was always how it was. It was comforting to me, to know it was going to end. I looked with pity at my weak form of the past huddled over myself trying to protect myself. After a few more kicks to my legs and back, he stopped and muttered something about how despicable I was. "Yes sir," I muttered through my tears.
"Thank you for raising me. It is an honor to serve you." He scoffed and, thankfully, I heard his footsteps retreating. I drew in shaky breaths as I laid there bleeding. I knew I had to get up, change, and clean myself up but I couldn't force myself to move. The pain was too great. Who were those men? Why did I have bites? I felt my stomach drop as a thought came to mind. I turned my head to the side and dry heaved, he wouldn't. He wouldn't touch me- like that. Would he?
New tears filled my eyes now and I laid there sobbing. I reached up and touched my collar bone and felt calm, love. How can a mark be loving? They're all out of pain, and cause misery and mean I'm lower than low. Nothing.
I shook myself as I felt the memory and my mind slowly melding together. It was odd, I stood here watching myself cry and be beaten it was clear I was at my lowest. But, I knew this wasn't me. It was the past, my father was dead- by my hand too.
So where the hall am I? I reached out to my past self and frowned as I felt a pulling sensation. Slowly, I was sucked into past mes body.
"Tsu," I jumped at hearing my name. My head snapped up and I looked around, what? Who would be calling me now? When I saw no one, I laid my head back down before forcing myself to get up. "Tsu, you have to wake up," my eyes widened now "what?" I muttered looking around. It sounded like a woman, it was familiar- almost.
I blinked slowly, forcing myself to calm down and I could hear faint beeping. "Tsu, that's it, wake up. I know it's hard but you have to, you're asleep." The voice was more insistent now.
I frowned, I am awake? What are they talking about? Who's talking? The voice was familiar, but I couldn't place it.
In my heart, I knew it but I couldn't place it. I heard footsteps coming toward my room and instantly jumped up, standing at attention. He slammed the door open, it bounced into the wall and left a dent. I felt myself shake but forced myself to look at him.
That's when I heard the woman's voice again, it was so familiar, warm and motherly. Someone who cared. Who is this!? "Tsu! Wake up, you're going into shock! Kai!" The fear in this woman's voice was insurmountable, I was scared for her. "Did you not hear me?" My father demanded, he glared at me and suddenly I felt, calm? What the hell is going on? My mind was all over the place.
He took a step towards me and grabbed me by the throat and drug me so he could pin me to the wall. I clawed at his hands, "no!" I choked and he laughed, that's when I felt his hand squeeze tighter. I'm sorry, strange woman. I wish I could help you, but it seems I can't even help myself. Just as I finished this thought, I felt an immense wave of calm wash over me. I closed my eyes and felt warm. If this is death, I welcome it.