GREYSCALE WARMTH | TK

Chapter Six

***

"will you disappear, just like the flower?"

"will you, just like the flower that resembled you, in my own embrace, d...?"

Jeongguk stares at his watch once again then starts pacing around when he realizes Taehyung is a little bit late. He's getting worried because, just like him, Taehyung is always early.

His worries are immediately erased once Taehyung's silhouette appears from inside a cab. He looks shriveled and exhausted, which makes Jeongguk's worries appear out of thin air once again. He hurries towards him, circling an arm around his boyfriend's waist — they have been dating for two weeks now — then takes out some cash from inside his pocket and hands it to the driver.

The look the man gives him is enough to let him know that he had offered enough, maybe more than necessary. Jeongguk doesn't care about it and that's not because he's somehow rich — courtesy of his career. He thinks people who work daily jobs deserve more respect so giving the older man a decent tip isn't something he should worry about.

What he should worry about is the state Taehyung is in. When the driver pulls away and Jeongguk is finally faced with the — as usual, astonishing — sight of his boyfriend, his brows furrow.

There are large dark patches under his eyes and his eyes look shallow and puffy, like he's been crying for the past few hours.

When Jeongguk reaches up and takes his cheeks into his hands, squishing them together, Taehyung finally smiles. "What are you doing?" Is all he asks, his voice muffled due to Jeongguk's antics.

"Making sure there's a smile on your face. Did something happen?"

Taehyung is not as open about his life as Jeongguk and, even if he's patient and was expecting the other to deny, Jeongguk still feels a tiny bit frustrated at the fact that his boyfriend is certainly not alright. However, he lets it pass, giving Taehyung the time he needs.

With a smile on his face, Jeongguk takes a hold of Taehyung's hand and drags him towards the museum they were supposed to visit — the one Taehyung had told him about a few days prior.

Jeongguk tries his best to fulfill every wish Taehyung has because his happiness is all that matters to him.

Unfortunately, he doesn't realize that the other thinks just the same.

***

Jeongguk notices for the first time a few days after their visit to the museum.

He's picking up Taehyung from his apartment complex, a bouquet of flowers in his hand. When his boyfriend finally exists the building, a small smile on his face, Jeongguk's whole world brightens.

Taehyung looks adorable each time he sees him. He has a certain style of clothing that's unique, appealing and very artistic. Most of the times the colors of his clothes don't match but Jeongguk finds that even more beautiful.

He feels like voicing out his words that day, a certain braveness in his heart, so when Taehyung curls into his embrace, Jeongguk follows his instincts.

"I love your outfit. The colors go well together."

Taehyung leans away at that so that they're staring into each other's eyes. His brows flinch in the slightest gesture but, this time, Jeongguk notices.

He also notices the way his boyfriend stares down, at his own pants, then back at him. His lips raise in a smile but this time, Jeongguk sees it.

He can see the shallowness in his boyfriend's eyes, the lie on his lips and the truth hidden inside his irises.

"Thank you. I spent a while choosing them."

Taehyung doesn't stutter, the smile on his face seeming more real than ever. For a few seconds, Jeongguk starts thinking that he's maybe too paranoid, that he overthinks too much.

So he simply pushes those thoughts in the back of his mind as a smile appears on his face. He raises his hand, cupping Taehyung's cheek, then leans in to press their lips together. Taehyung melts into him, like he always does, and Jeongguk allows himself to be swept away for a few seconds.

When they break apart and their eyes meet, Taehyung's golden irises shining so beautifully from Jeongguk's perspective, he finally breaks.

With a smile that hopefully looks real, he finally looks at the bouquet in his hand. "I bought you flowers, red ones since I know you like that color the most. Do you like them?"

He raises the bouquet, showing it to Taehyung. His boyfriend smiles, genuinely, and Jeongguk's heart warms and breaks into pieces at the same time.

"I love them. Thank you." Is all Taehyung says before he takes the flowers and finally steps into the car.

Jeongguk stays there, outside the car, for a few more minutes, under the excuse of smoking a damn cigarette he doesn't even enjoy — he hates smoking but he sometimes, when he's stressed, finds himself doing it anyway.

After he finishes it, he throws it into a nearby bin, then lets out a sigh as he looks around. The colors are dull and the blue of the sky is almost grey.

When he gets inside the car, Taehyung smiles at him, then entwines their fingers together, but all Jeongguk can do is stare at the bouquet on his boyfriend's lap, the memory of his red butterfly pendant hovering in his mind along with it.

He stops staring once he realizes he needs to actually drive them to their date but the image of the bouquet stays in his mind the whole night.

Along with the memory of its purple flowers.

i picked a red flower
that resembled you
but in my hands
it broke apart
and faded into nothingness

will you fade as well?
will you disappear?
will you break,
just like the flower?

i wanted to know
but the moment i reached for the truth
the flower dried out

so what was i ought to do
when i knew that,
the flower that resembled you
died in my hands

what was i ought to do
when i knew that
you could, just like the flower that resembled you,
in my own embrace, d...