A Probability Experiment Turned Me Into A Clockwork Girl And I Really Don't...

8:00. Me And My Monkey (pt. 2)

Eventually, the coffee and cakes got to Emma, and she had to excuse herself to go take care of business. By this point I really was running down, and I followed her to the public bathrooms in the lifeguard shack, to have her wind me once she'd finished. I was staring out across the lake, waiting for her, when I felt it: the sensation of my body slowing to a halt. I hadn't experienced this since that first morning, but it was instantly familiar. Great, I thought. Next comes the time-lapse, right? I wasn't looking forward to this, but it wasn't as scary now that I understood it.

Or, at least, it wasn't until I heard something snuffling around over by the trash cans. Shit, that could be anything, out here - a raccoon? A bear? Then it padded toward me... I stood there, frozen. Why wasn't the time-lapse kicking in? Reality should've been accelerating around me, but instead each moment seemed to crawl by at an agonizing pace. Was this a survival mechanism...? What was the use of it if I couldn't move!?

I felt something grab hold of my leg, and then it was scampering up my side to my shoulder. Oh please, please, please don't be-

A hideous little face peered around the edges of my vision, grinning demoniacally. Holy mother of God-! I hated these things: Darling's macaque, if I remembered the name correctly, the inexplicable pet-craze homunculus of a decade ago. Hordes of them had been bought and abandoned just as swiftly once the fad was over, and most of them ended up as strays, scavenging dumpsters and trash cans. The DNR was trying to eradicate them as an invasive species, but they were tenacious and clever enough to make it a challenge.

I hated them! If Winston Smith's Room 101 had rats, mine had these little ghouls. The face was too round, the smile too broad - like those creepy hand-puppets they use in Sunday school or chintzy children's theater, where the head is just a foam sphere split in half at the equator, covered in some unnaturally-colored fabric "skin" - and the humanlike head of hair just emphasized how inhuman the rest was. This was the face of the Uncanny Valley - and they smelled like armpit fumes to boot. Reeking, tricksy, sociopathic, freakish little bastards - how had they ever been popular!?

She - it was a she, the longer hair was a sign with these things - leered at me with that hideous little grin, sniffing at my face and hair. Probably the creature was looking for food and didn't know what to make of me, but betwen my gut-level horror and loathing of the things, the temperamental nature of many primates, and the fact that I was immobilized and unable to do anything about the situation, I was on high alert, the closest thing to real, consuming panic I'd experienced since my change. Get it off get it off get it off-!

It began pawing through my hair, but there were no lice to be had. It sniffed my lips so closely that it was nearly a kiss; I cringed on the inside, but that was all I could do. God, I smelled like pancake batter and maple syrup, didn't I...? This stupid fabric absorbed scents far too easily. And here I was, motionless but hyper-aware, utterly helpless, alone with this terrifying inhuman thing...

"Stu? Hey, you okay?"

Oh thank God. That was Emma's voice. She could get this thing off of me...

"Oh, gross," she said, rounding the corner and catching sight of the creature. "Go on, shoo! Get outta here!" She tried to wave it off, but it wasn't skittish enough to take off just like that. She batted at it more directly, but it dodged, hid behind my head, and then paused atop my back, sniffing curiously at the air.

Oh shit. I might smell a bit like food, but Emma was the one who'd actually been eating. I felt the creature clamber up the back of my head and prepare to spring. If it got hold of her head...! But what could I do? I was motionless, wasn't I? Or...was that just a mode I was operating in? I could will myself to sleep, and, obviously, I could continue operating at normal speed when I was running down, if needed; I only had so much energy, but maybe it was possible to decide how I used it?