One Shots - Claire Browne and Neil Melendez

Distract Me

Summary: Claire and Neil have somewhat agreed to stay platonic, at least for Claire's last few months of residency. She doesn't want any distractions. After a tough case that ends with losing a patient, Claire's taking it hard, and Neil's there to help. 

She was a patient. With a tumor. But there's a lot of those. The difference with her was that she was supposed to have lived. Her chances of a great life were excellent. It wasn't supposed to end like this. 

Claire knew there was no point in thinking about how things were supposed to be, but she couldn't help it. She had gone home after telling the family, and the image of the parents breaking down in utter disbelief was stuck in her head. 

She was sitting on her green couch at home. Normally she would watch someone, read a book, or maybe even play guitar, but she was staring blankly in front of her. 

She was not crying. She was stunned. Shocked. It took her a while before she realized that someone was knocking on her door. 

She blinked, coming out of her trance, and opened the door for Neil Melendez. She sighed when she was it was him. 

"You shouldn't be here," she pointed out while his eyes were busy scanning her face for clues on how she was handling it. 

A couple of weeks ago, they had shared their mutual feelings with each other, which had lead to a few pretty heated and heartfelt moments, but as the end of Claire's residency was coming closer, and the pressure was growing, she had cut it off. 

Well, they had somewhat mutually agreed to keep it on hold and stay purely professional, at least until the end of her residency. 

She wanted to be with him, desperately, but she was so scared of hurting someone who meant so much to her. 

"I think I need to be here right now," he stated. She stared at him blankly before letting him into her apartment. 

"I'm fine," she assured him. Or well, tried to. Neil had already taken a place on her couch, not believing her so easily. 

"Losing a patient is never easy, Claire," he said, leaning forward with his elbows resting on his knees. 

"I've lost patients before, I'm okay," she didn't even believe her own words, and she knew he wouldn't either. 

He looked at her as she sat down beside him. 

"She was so young. She had her whole life in front of her, an unwritten book of experiences and adventures," Claire tried not to cry when he began talking like that, but her tears were disobeying. 

"She was supposed to spend the rest of her life filling that book with memories, not leave her parents behind without their only child," Neil's own voice quivered, and he wasn't even on the case, but he had heard all about it from Glassman. 

Claire pinched the bridge of her nose, giving up on restraining her tears. She sniffed and looked at him. 

"Does it ever get easier?" she asked, hoping for another answer than what she already knew she was getting. 

"No," he breathed, sounding almost apologetic. "But it wouldn't be quite right if it stopped hurting either. Losing a patient- It's another human life gone from this world, it never stops being hard," 

Claire turned her body toward him, and he knew she needed him to just hold her. As he took her in his arms, she buried her head in between his shoulder and neck. 

"She was supposed to be alright," she stated, her voice weak because of her crying. 

"I know," it broke his heart to see Claire like this, and he wanted to do whatever he could for her to make it easier. 

So he held her. For as long as she needed to. Until she stopped crying and pulled away from him again. 

"Thank you," she sniffed and smiled slightly at him. 

"Anytime," he said, and very much meant it. "Is there anything else you need me to do? We could watch a movie or order takeout?" he offered. 

As she looked at him, all of her feelings came to surface in her head again. She had told herself no distractions and knew that that somewhat also included him. But maybe trying to push her feelings away was a bigger distraction than giving in to her romantic desires and being with him. 

"Remember when I said no distractions?" she asked. He nodded, stroking her cheek. He did not really know what she was saying, but he felt his heart skip a beat. 

"Distract me," her voice was hoarse, partly from her earlier crying, partly from the words that slipped past her lips. 

He wanted to ask if she was sure that was what she wanted to do, but the look in her eyes said everything he needed to know. 

As he traced her skin with his fingers, and then his lips, she wanted this every single day. Not necessarily the actual sex, but his attention, him beside her, his lips on hers. She wanted to be able to run her fingers through his hair and wake up beside him. He was the best distraction, indeed. And she planned to let him distract her for the rest of her life.