Ada Masali - One shots

Staying away

Why couldn't he stay away from her?

What had this woman done to him? How was it that he felt the pain and frustration in his own heart every time he rejected her?
Was Poyraz still angry about Haziran's betrayal? Yes, definitely! But... These days, there was always a "but."
The main one being that he couldn't stay away from her. Like a moth, he was desperately drawn to the fire inside her... and like a silly moth, he risked burning his wings.
He could see where his grandmother was coming from. Why she was trying so hard to protect him. She knew him better than anyone, she knew the weight of his parents' history on his upbringing. And that he wasn't kidding when he told her, "Maybe they changed me too, Babaanne".

How could he stay away from her? He realized that the wound in his pride could heal.  But he was so afraid. Terrified of opening himself up to such a great love. She was such an important part of his life already, and he had only known her for a couple of months. They hadn't even had a chance to be together for real, and this love was changing his perspective on so many points he thought were the foundations of his life...

How could he stay away from her? Haziran thought it was a matter of pride and anger. He knew himself that he could lose himself in her. He was scared to death of the part of him that wanted to lose himself in her. His body was definitely on that side. It craved her. Whenever she was close, he couldn't help but touch her. Self-control was becoming increasingly difficult to maintain. When he woke up, his first thought was always of her. Early in the morning, with his mind still in a half-sleep daze, it was so easy to ignore all the reasons to stay away. He imagined her flushed, almost wild, panting with desire for him. And his body was reacting in ways he could never confess to anyone. In a half-dream, he saw himself undressing her, slowly, with deference almost, while she kept looking at him with her mesmerizing eyes. He dreamed of her slender body, straddling him, her hair caressing his chest, and his hands on her ass guiding her to...
- Argh, stop it Poyraz, he said out loud, frustrated with himself.

It was a new and foreign sensation, these mixed feelings, this duality. He knew what was good for him... and half the time he didn't seem to care anymore. Especially, when she was the smartest and sweetest person he knew, once again, offering him the vase he had used to describe their broken bond, fixed with gold, telling him about the symbolism of kintsungi, the art of keeping the history of broken things to make them even more special, asking him to give them a chance.

How could he stay away from her?

The discussion with Alper had forced him to take a good look into himself. Maybe he had been asking himself the wrong question all along... What if she had had enough and decided to leave, because he had pushed her too far...

How could he live without her?