Sense Of Self- Blue period

Chapter 2

It has been a year. Rinka have joined the art club, and is very familiar with the members there. She is very close with the senior Maru Mori, and her classmate Ryuji Ayukawa (Yuka chan) .

Yataro made some other friends, and didn't talk to her as often now. He does drop by for a chat, but it's much shorter than before. She could also occasionally smell the stench of tobacco on his uniform. Rinka felt a little crestfallen, thinking about her current friendship with him.

...

Today's art lesson theme was,
'Your favorite scenery.'

"Rinka, you can't just paint the art room again." Mrs Saeki said. "Try and do another place."

Rinka furrowed her brows, and started contemplating. 'My favourite... Scenery? '

Rinka thought about that question, even until she went home. When she reached her home, the house was enshrouded in darkness.

Ahhh... She thought. Father isn't back yet. She took off her shoes, before escaping the dark and lifeless living room. 

| My favourite scenery. |

Rinka didn't have one. Hoping from orphanage to orphanage did little to instill a sense of identity and belonging in her. She switched on the lights, sat at her desk, and started to think.

[ Anything that exists can be lost. ]

She was afraid of pouring too much of herself into her art, and losing herself in the process.

Rinka looked down at her hands. Her hands are able to create pieces that, while may be lost, will remain within her forever.

Although uncertain, she started drawing her hands. She observed the was she held her pencil. She spun the pencil, felt it's form, curves, and the texture. She observed the way the light casted a long, black shadow that became fainter and fainter the further it was from the smooth plastic pencil.

She then looked at her palms, the lines, and the intervals and segments of the fingers. She saw the patches of pink and thin blue lines, weaving themselves randomly, right under her skin.

She turned her hands over. Her writer's bump was awfully obvious. Her nails, short and uneven. The skin around her pale pink nails were peeling. The bumps and depression between her knuckles caused the skin around it to stretch and pull as she flexed her fingers.

Huh. She mused. How interesting.

Feeling a little bit more inspired, she drew her hands, the palm and the back, on the blank paper.

...

The next day, she submitted her assignment on time as usual.  Mrs Saeki has a habit of taping up the artworks on the board begun the art room, for all classmates to see.

"This is nice." Yuka chan commented. It was an artwork with buildings painted in various shades of blue hues. "Who's... ack! I shouldn't have asked."  His hands gripped mine tightly, as he gently pulled me around the art room.

" I want to see your artwork, Rinka chan." Yuka chan said.

" It's nothing spectacular. " Rinka answered. However, Rinka still guided Ayukawa to her artwork. It was at the bottom corner. Ayukawa would have missed it, if Rinka didn't point it out.

It was a drawing of her hands. The landscape paper was split into half. On the first half, she drew her left palm. On the right, she drew the back of her right hand. The various shadows were painted in light orangy brown, while small patches of pink could be seen.

This scenery... Ayukawa thought. "It isn't really a scenery, but both hands are drawn very well. "

" I see. " Rinka said.

" Oh, though I am surprised that you didn't draw something in the art room. You usually do that. " Ayukawa said.

" Mrs Saeki said I can't do that. " Rinka replied.

" I am happy though. I feel like I know you a little better now. " Ayukawa mused." I rarely see you expressing anything related to yourself. "

" Hahaha that's true. " Rinka laughed softly. " Yataro's work is really pretty. I can see that that place is important to him."

After heading back to class, our form teacher handed us a career survey form.

My future huh, Rinka thought. Haiz...

Then, her phone pinged. She glanced at it, and it was Ayukawa.

| Meet me at the Art Room after | school.

-Ayukawa.