One Shot Wednesday - Upstead One Shots

Part 6

Requested by charlie91706

Hailey has a really bad nightmare and Jay helps her through it. Post 8x16 fic.

TW: mentions of panic attacks and PTSD. I briefly describe a PTSD flashback. Please don't read if this will harm you. Sorry if the descriptions are inaccurate, I've never experienced this, I've only done research.

Jay's POV:
It had been a long day. After staying in the hospital to make sure Kim was okay, me and Hailey came home and collapsed into bed. We were both too tired to discuss anything else, silently agreeing to do that in the morning. Just as I'm about to fall asleep, I hear Hailey whimper next to me. She starts moving around a lot and I roll over to see what she's doing.
Her eyes are closed. It's like she's asleep but awake at the same time. It takes me a moment to realize that she's having a nightmare. I try to wake her up by gently shaking her shoulder.

"Hailey," I whisper. "Hailey, wake up." I try shaking her shoulder a little harder. Suddenly she sits up straight and looks at me with wide eyes, like she doesn't know who I am or where she is.

. . .

Hailey's POV:
I'm back with Voight. I've just shot Roy. Voight says that he's going to deal with it, that I should just go home. Just as I'm about to leave, Jay's truck pulls up, along with patrol cars. The officers get out and order me to drop my weapon and put my hands above my head. They put handcuffs on me. All the while, Jay stands next to his truck with a hateful and disappointed look on his face. It's directed at me. I start to freak out, then I wake up. I sit straight up in the dark. I don't know who woke me up or where exactly I am.

"Hailey? Are you okay?" The voice calls out again. I realize it's Jay and relief floods me. I feel like I can breathe again, the weight on my chest is lifted by just his presence. I blindly reach for him and feel his calloused hands grab my soft ones. He pulls me into his lap and I lean against him, finally letting it all out. My guilt and fear turn into tears as I sob into his shoulder.

. . .

Jay's POV:
I wrap my arms around Hailey, tightening my grip as she sobs into me. My heart starts to break hearing her in this much pain and distress. I hold her tightly against me, slowly rocking her back and forth in an attempt to calm her down. Eventually her sobbing slows. I start to rub her back.

"Can you breathe with me baby? In your nose for three, out your mouth for three?" I start counting as I inhale and exhale, feeling her body move with mine.

. . .

Hailey's POV:
Jay starts counting as we breathe. I follow his rhythm and feel myself calming down. I stop crying and can breathe properly again, with a regular rhythm. My mind stops racing and I'm able to think a little better. I fold myself closer into Jay's chest. I'm not ready to look in his eyes yet. He keeps rubbing my back gently, a welcome touch that keeps me warm and grounded. His other hand moves to my face, to wipe away a few stray tears.

"Whenever you're ready to take about it, baby, I'm listening."

That's the second time he's called me baby. "You keep calling me baby," I whisper, and I finally look up at him.

"Yeah," he blushes. "Is that okay?" I nod and bury my face into his neck. Keeping physical contact with him, it helps me. It reminds me of how much I love him, and that he deserves to know what went down, and my reaction to it. I take a deep breath and start to speak.

. . .

Jay's POV:
"Me and Adam figured out that Voight cherry-picked the locations to get all the leads. Adam went home to Makayla while I tried to find Voight." Hailey takes a shaky breath and I pray that she continues.

"I found a lead to Voight, so I want to find him. He was in some dark, abandoned warehouse with Roy. It looked like he was about to shoot him. I walked up and Voight heard me and he pointed a gun in my face. Told me to leave."

Hearing what Voight did already makes me angry. Out of instinct I tighten my grip on Hailey, perhaps a little too much. Hailey looks up at me.

I try to keep my expression neutral and loosen my grip slightly. "Sorry, continue."

She leans back down against my chest. "He told me to leave, I wouldn't. I tried talking him down and I thought it worked when he agrees to take Roy into the district. When he was trying to uncuff Roy, he reached for Voight's gun. I ordered him the drop it, and ... and ..." Hailey starts stuttering and I can tell it's too much.

"Hailey, you don't have to talk about it right now, if it's too much for you." She shakes her head, adamant about speaking.

. . .

Hailey's POV:
"I ordered him to drop it and he wouldn't. So I had to shoot him." I stop speaking as tears being to well up in my eyes again. I try to hide my face from Jay but he stops me. He gently swipes his thumb underneath my eye to wipe away a few of my tears then looks me right in the eye.

"Hailey, that sounds like a good shoot. What's the problem?"

"I didn't call it in. Voight obviously didn't. Then he told me to go home, that he'd deal with it. And I just left."

My breathing becomes erratic again. Hot, salty tears start rolling down my face. My vision goes  blurry and dark, it feels like I can't see anything. My ears start ringing, I can't hear anything. I don't know if Jay's holding me anymore, I don't know here I am. My breathing feels more laboured, it feels like I'm drowning. Suddenly I see, I'm back at that warehouse. I feel the ground underneath me, I hear Voight yelling at me, I sense the fear when he points his gun at me. I start to walk towards him, steps shaky and uncertain.

. . .

Jay's POV:
Hailey stops talking and starts breathing weirdly. She starts shaking and crying. Then she goes into a trance. That's when I realized she's having a flashback. I remember those. It feels so real, you think you're really in there. She starts moving, I think towards somebody. I try shaking her gently to break her out of it.

"Hailey, hey, baby. You gotta wake up. I promise you're not where you think you are right now. You're at your apartment, here, safe with me. Voight doesn't hurt you, you're okay. I'll deal with him, you don't need to worry."

. . .

Hailey's POV:
I hear another voice. Jay's. I turn around to look for him, but I don't see him. He's talking to me in a soothing way. I feel something touch me on the back and I flinch. This feels supernatural, like something out of a movie. The voice and touch keep coming and slowly I drift away.

I fall over.

I wake up as I crash onto the floor. All of a sudden, Jay is kneeling beside me, scooping me into his arms and asking me if I'm okay.

I feel overwhelmed.

I try to crawl out of Jay's arms but he doesn't let me. He doesn't ask me any more questions, he just holds me and lets me process.
This think with Voight only happened once. I've been in my bed this entire time. Jay's voice was real, it came from outside my mind. He's trying to help me.

I slowly come to.

Jay's still holding me. I adjust my head so I can look at him. He looks back at me, worried.

"Are you okay?" He asks slowly, gently.

"Yeah," my voice comes out as a hoarse whisper. I try to smile for Jay's sake. Of course he notices.

"You don't have force a smile for me, Hails." I genuinely smile at his use of my nickname. I snuggle closer to him because he's a comfort to me. Once again, all of a sudden, Jay tightens his grip on me and stands up, carrying me back to bed. He lays me down on my side of the bed, tucking me in and pressing a light kiss on my forehead before crossing to his side of the bed. As soon as he climbs in and turns off the lamp, I roll over and rest my head on this chest. Soon his steady, rhythmic breathing and heartbeat lull me back to sleep.

Hey y'all, sorry I didn't upload last week, I was at my cottage and didn't have wifi. I wrote this while I was there. It's a little shorter but I hope it's still good. I'll try my best to upload every Wednesday following, and I promise next week's fic will be lighter and fluffier to counterbalance this one. Thanks for reading!