[tw : sh , suicide ]
it's the way it is.
for now , i guess.
i shuffled my feet as i walked down the hallways.
mitsuya explained everything to the principal , and i got a pass to go home early.
well , i have to get to my therapist for an appointment the school booked for me.
i changed my shoes in the locker , and started my journey back home.
it really is cold today.
still , i don't think there's anything colder than baji's heart right now.
i looked down , staring at the hand warmers baji gave me earlier on.
i should return it soon.
as soon as i reached home , i threw my bag on the couch , and turned on the television for background noise.
i've never been able to stay home alone.
since my parents are out for this month , i thought i would be able to spend it at baji's.
well...
i don't think it'll work out.
i took off baji's uniform.
i guess i'll return this too.
i slid on a thick sweater , and some baggy jeans.
i fluffed up my hair a little , placing a few pins to keep it in place.
i guess i'm ready for my therapy session.
__
"hello...? i'm here for the 12 pm session..."
i mumbled , fidgeting with my fingers.
"ah , you must be ... chifuyu right?"
the receptionist asked.
i nodded my head quickly , responding to her.
she lead me into a room with the therapist.
__
i mean , therapy wasn't that bad.
he just diagnosed me with mild depression , suicidal tendencies and intentional self harm.
he also gave me a couple anti-depressants.
i decided to stop by the mini-mart for a while.
i've not been grocery shopping for a few weeks , and i'm running low on food.
as i passed the corner of the food aisle , i remembered the time i visited here with baji.
how i wish he would be here , helping me pick out the freshest fruits , or the biggest portions.
i let out a small sigh , before placing the canned tuna in my basket.
i turned the corner , into the candy aisle.
__
"watch where you're goin- chifuyu...?"
"oh ... baji-san.."
__
i cowered my head in embarrassment , and turned around , my back facing baji.
"um , i've something to talk to you about.."
__
we sat down on the swings at a nearby park.
the snow was falling again , this time , covering our heads with it.
i couldnt help but stare at baji's face.
there were little snowflakes on his cheeks.
he looked adorable.
"i just wanna ... uhh ... apologise to you. i didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable just now. you know..calling you and mitsuya a couple. i got sent home early too for smoking in school premises."
baji said , rubbing his nape slightly.
i smiled a little.
i felt my cheeks turn a slight shade of red.
"i see you've improved with your sentence structure , keisuke"
"f-fuyu ...!"
baji exclaimed , standing up from the swing.
i let out a light chuckle before pressing my thumb on baji's nose.
"i forgive you ! just ... don't misunderstand anymore , okay?"
baji nodded reluctantly.
"a-also , i've something else to say.."
baji searched his pockets , and pulled out a letter , and a box.
he got on one knee , and opened the box.
"uh chifuyu , i hope you'll be willing to be my boyfriend..i like you ! i've liked you for years.."
baji closed his eyes , putting the ring in front of my eyes.
is this the confession i've been looking for in manga's ?
i nodded my head obviously , with slight tears in my eyes.
people don't usually confess with a ring , and a letter.
i took the letter from baji's hands , and opened it.
__
to my dear chifuyu matsuno ,
i hope you will accept this confession.
i have liked you ever since we have met.
i can't believe i managed to meet an angel like you.
you make my heart flutter everytime i am around you.
i realised the other day , i don't like you.
i love you.
i absolutely do.
i begged your parents to let me be your boyfriend.
they agreed , knowing im the only one they trust.
they were kind enough to keep this a secret from you.
so ,
will you be the one for me ?
or will i have to find another fish in the sea?
__
oh baji.
you're not the loving kind.
no doubt bout that in my mind.
but when it comes to me ,
i can tell that you love me.
i don't think i'll settle for anything less.
"you're supposed to put the ring on for me , keisuke"
"don't call me that , fuyu..."
[775 words , 27/8/21]
