Where do we go from here? (jemily fanfic)

2

TW: self harm, blood

Emily's POV:
The house was huge. It was pretty cool too. When you first walked in there was a big open entryway. To the right was a living room and to the left was the tv room. If you went forward, there was the kitchen, and attached to that was the dining room. In the kitchen there was a door that went out to the backyard, and also a door that led to the garage.

In the entryway there was stairs that lead to the second floor. It had 4 bedrooms. It also had the bathrooms and laundry room.

JJ and I looked around for a bit admiring everything. We both put our bags down in the biggest bedroom, and JJ flopped down on the bed.

Even though there were four bedroom, we slept in the same one. It wasn't even a discussion, we just kind of did it automatically. "sooo watcha wanna do?" JJ asked me.

It was around 8pm. "I don't know. Maybe eat some dinner and then go to bed?" I ask her. "Okay" she says not moving from her position on the bed.

"I don't like jeans." She says frowning all of a sudden. "What?" I laugh. "They feel funny." She pouts, rolling over onto her stomach.

"Then change into pajamas." I smile sitting down next to her. "Okay." She says getting up and grabbing sweatpants and a T-shirt. I also decide to change so I put on shorts and a tank top.

"I'm going to go see what we can eat for dinner." I say walking toward the kitchen. JJ follows me.

I find some box Mac and cheese so I decide to make that. JJ sits on the kitchen counter and watches me. We talk while I cook, and then when I'm done we eat dinner while watching tv.

We decide to watch friends, a show that me both love. "Hey that girl Kathy, she kind of looks like you." JJ says while we're eating. I look at the tv. "I don't know. I don't really see it." I say frowning.

When we finish eating dinner it's about 9pm. JJ goes to the bedroom and I start to clean up the kitchen. Just as I'm finishing, I hear JJ. "Emily!" She shouts from the bedroom.

I walk in the room and see JJ pacing around. "Hey what's wrong?" I ask her. "I can't find twinkle." She says frowning. 'Twinkle' was an old grey security blanket that JJ dragged around everywhere like a five year old.

No one else knew about it except for me. I guess it was because she was embarrassed. I actually thought it was adorable. I help her look for it and finally we found it. It was under the bed.

Then out of nowhere, JJ starts crying. Not super hard but I could see the tears falling down her face. "Hey what's wrong?" I ask her. She doesn't answer. She's breathing heavy and crying harder.

"JJ you can tell me." I try to plead with her. She still doesn't talk she just shakes her head no. I realize that she's probably not going to talk right now, so I just give her a big hug.

We both get in bed under the covers and she's still crying. I don't ask her anymore questions. I just lay there with JJ's head on my chest. Her tears making my shirt wet. I hold her and rub her back. Eventually the crying dies down a little. Slowly I drift off to sleep with JJ still on top of me.

I wake up early. Around 6 am. JJ was still laying on my chest and I thought she was asleep. But then she looks up at me, clearly wide awake. Her eyes were red and puffy. She was still crying.

"JJ did you sleep at all?" I ask her. She just shrugs. "Oh babe-" before I could finish she gets up and locks herself in the bathroom.

I quickly get out of bed and try to open the door. It won't budge. "JJ" I say knocking on the door. No answer. I pound on it harder put still nothing. "Open the door." I call to her. I can just hear her sobbing.

I can feel tears falling down my face now too. "Jennifer... JJ are you hurting yourself in there?" I ask her crying. JJ had problems with self harm in the past but she had been clean for almost a year.

She still didn't answer me. I could just hear her crying louder. "JJ I swear to god I'm going to kick down this door if you don't open right now." I shout. Finally I hear the lock on the door click.

When I open the door I see JJ sitting on the floor. She's sobbing and her eyes have a blank look in them. She has a blade in her hand and she's digging it into her skin and cutting her wrists over and over again. There's a puddle of blood on the floor.

"JENNIFER!" I scream. I try to grab the blade from her hand but she pulls away from me. I practically have to wrestle it away from her. When I finally grab it I flush it down the toilet as quickly as I can.

JJ's a complete wreck. She's crying so hard she's struggling to breath. Her whole body was shaking and her clothes had blood stains on them.

We're both sitting on the floor now. I pull her close to me. At first she struggles but then she just accepts it. I hold her against me as tight as I can. My clothes are getting covered in blood.

She's still shaking and crying so hard that I thought she might throw up. She can barely breath. Nothing seems to calm her down. I start humming. Quietly at first and then louder. I start to sing to her.

(This is a real song it's called The night we met by Lord Huron)

I am not the only traveller
Who has not repaid his debt
I've been searching for a trail to follow again
Take me back to the night we met

And then I can tell myself
What the hell I'm supposed to do
And then I can tell myself
Not to ride along with you

I had all and then most of you
Some and none of you
Take me back to the night we met
I don't know what I'm supposed to do
Haunted by the ghost of you
Oh, take me back to the night we met

When the night was full of terrors
And your eyes were filled with tears
When you had not touched me yet
Oh, take me back to the night we met

I had all and then most of you
Some and now none of you
Take me back to the night we met
I don't know what I'm supposed to do
Haunted by the ghost of you
Take me back to the night we met

JJ's breath started to even out. She had never heard the song but I could tell that she liked it. What she didn't know was that I actually wrote the song. I wrote it about her.

I took a moment to assess the entire situation. JJ was covered in blood, sweat, and tears. I turned on the shower and made sure that it wasn't to cold. I helped JJ stand up and take off all of her clothes.

She got into the shower, and then immediately started crying because it stung her arms. I tried to help her from outside of the shower, but eventually just gave up and climbed in with her. I didn't really care that I still had my clothes on and was getting soaked.

I cleaned off her arms and face and then helped her out of the shower. I picked out an oversized shirt and underwear and then got her dressed. It was hot so I didn't bother with pants. I also changed my clothes because I was soaking wet.

She sat down on the bed while I found some bandages. I wrapped both of her wrists so they wouldn't keep bleeding. I could tell that she was super tired but she refused to go to sleep. She still hadn't said a single word to me, she just stared.

I turned on the tv in the bedroom and then pretty much dragged her into bed. She wouldn't let me leave, so I stayed with her. She laid on top of me with her arms around my waist. She was clinging to me for dear life. It was like she thought that I was going to leave. Which I obviously wasn't.

She stared at the tv and I could tell that she was trying so hard not to fall asleep. I didn't know why, but I knew that it wasn't going to work for long. I rubbed her back with one hand and played with her hair with other. I lightly kissed the top of her head. She couldn't stay awake anymore. Finally, she fell asleep.